Love and the Logical

American Muscle

2011-08-11T16:14:00.002-04:00

I don't have the spark for writing anymore, at least not in documenting my everyday life. Lately I've been excited and consumed with the project I took on in purchasing Stella. I'd like to document the progress I make regarding that, as this will probably endure through years/decades of my adult life. If any who happen upon this blog are interested, you can read about that here: American Muscle. If that's not your thing, no hard feelings. :) Writing a blog consistently over the last several years has been challenging, and as I've discovered, it's easier to have a topic. A theme, if you will. With pharmacy school gone that 'purpose' Love and the Logical served is gone. We'll see where she goes from here.

Thanks for reading!!

Real Fast

2011-07-30T00:06:00.005-04:00

What does real fast feel like? Well, there are two kinds: significantly-over-the-speed-limit fast and triple-digits fast.

Triple digits fast has its own kind of sound setting it apart, so that when you reach that point you know you've been there without ever having looked at the speedometer. Part of that sound is created by the wind, which seems to come from every direction and pushes you flush into your seat, leaving your hands gripping for a door handle. The other part of the sound comes from the roar of the engine, which takes on a sort of wuuurrr and whoooooosh. The engine sound seems effortless and natural, as if by going so fast you've finally achieved what it had been engineered for. You realize you're going a scary sort of fast that has your legs tingling and your heart racing. A part of you begs to slow down, but you don't, and you can't help but laugh because you've never felt like this before. The wind peels the sound away from you lips before it even has a chance to be heard.

It's like flying.

You slow back down within seconds since you began goosing the accelerator, breathless and wide-eyed, looking around to see if anyone witnessed such a thing other than you.

_____________

I've had the pleasure of going triple-digits fast in Stella two or three times, and although they catch right back up to me later, for those brief moments all my problems are left in her dust and burnt rubber.

Rain

2011-07-27T23:47:00.003-04:00

"The only thing that can save me is the sound of your voice

You cut out all the noise"

--Maroon Five

Stella

2011-06-28T14:26:00.003-04:00

The first time I ever saw her was on a beautiful early summer afternoon, not a cloud in the sky, the way it seems so many fateful days are. We were driving down a busy street in the country, one we had never driven down before, wistfully jumping between peaceful neighborhoods looking at houses. We weren't exactly close to the point when we could purchase a house, but it was fun nevertheless to dream. I had the day off of work and not a care in the world. We had gone to a delicious Mom 'n Pop breakfast joint that morning and then we just drove--me with my flip flops kicked off--not caring how much gas we were wasting. I loved doing that. Just driving around the way we were. There was something soothing about that constant feeling of motion and staring out at the rolling landscapes that enticed me so much and so often.

I remember I'd been looking out my husband's side window when he suddenly asked, "Amanda, did you just see that car?" His voice was excited and a little shocked. Of course, I'd been looking the wrong direction and told him I hadn't. "We have to go back then. You have to see this car." He said this absolutely, as if there was simply no other choice.

He did a quick turn around and we passed it going the other way. I only got a quick glimpse, but one glance was all it took. I recognized it immediately as an old Corvette Stingray, definitely 1970's, for the Stingray era produced some of the most radical, outrageous looking body types I can ever remember seeing, Corvettes or otherwise. It was the look European cars might have but you'd pay a lot more money for.

We turned around again so that we were facing our original direction and I wistfully requested that he pull over so that I could 'take a picture.' Mike pulled our car onto the gravel shoulder of the road without complaint. He immediately hopped out on his side, startling me, for I had planned on simply rolling down my window, snapping a picture with my phone, and then taking back off again. But fate had a firm hold on this particular moment in my life, I know that now, and I was meant to get out of the car. I was meant to get out and look closer.

She was parked in the tall, uncut and weedy grass of what appeared to be an abandoned house-turned small junkyard. Mike would tell me later that there were many oddities scattered across the property, but I honestly remember none of them except the car. It was captivating. Perhaps the only case of that mythical love at first sight that I had (or would) ever experienced.

Close up she was small and aggressive-looking. Sitting low to the ground, she seemed almost to be stalking prey in that un kept grass. Her body was free of blemishes and the color of a bright red apple, complete with a black racing stripe starting at her pointed nose, following down her hood, and ending over her license plate. A shockingly low price was written in white across her windshield and O.B.O. across her driver's side window. Less than 60K miles. Her tires were those ass-kicking chrome jobs so popular for sports cars of her era. They looked mean and huge, a focal point on a car that was meant to go real fast real fast. The body seemed to be melted around them.

I walked around her in circles, taking in the mint exterior and the 'Stingray' emblem displayed boldly just in front of each door. She had a 1976 historic license plate decorating the nose, leading me to believe that '76 was the year she rolled off onto her first road. Thirty-five years ago--ten years before I was even born. My father hadn't yet met my mother or even graduated from college. Her interior was worn and in need of refurbishing from decades of butts sitting in her leather seats. As I stared in at her dusty dashboard and dirty steering wheel (adorned with the crossed double flags of the Corvette), I could envision what she had once looked like. What she could look like again with love and attention.

Her body was in amazing condition for her age and her mileage was impossibly low. I stared at a the asking price scribbled across her windshield. We have the money, a whispery voice said from somewhere deep inside me. Certainly not in any 'Old Corvette Savings Fund,' for I meticulously planned a future for every dollar I made, but we had the money nevertheless. In a house fund.

My husband stood somewhere nearby, grinning at me stupidly and taunting me with phrases such as, "Imagine what it would be like to pull into the driveway in this!" As if all the things I could do with this car, and all the fun I could have in her, hadn't already flown across my mind a million times. He knew this was my dream car, far more than any brand new, shiny sports car could be. This was the experience I always wanted to have but always believed was truly out of my reach.

I gave her another appreciative, longing look before resigning myself to returning to our own car. A car that was nice, that we loved, but was only a car. Something to get us around, to move our things from one place to another, and to get us to work and back. I realized in that moment the true difference between a vehicle and a car like that Corvette. A difference that I'd never really thought of before.

We drove away. Inside our car was quieter than before, lacking the earlier chattiness of an afternoon drive. I stared out the window and day dreamed, the same way I had about becoming a pharmacist or the way I would look in my wedding dress. I thought about the car.

I had learned over my young life to listen to my heart. You see, my heart doesn't speak to me very often, but I know right away when it does. It spoke to me when I met my husband, and for years after that regarding him, as we struggled through years of vast change and growing together. It spoke to me one sunny day on my college campus when it told me to give up my childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian and pursue pharmacy instead. It spoke to me the day I walked across the stage and held in my hand my Doctorate degree for the very first time.

It spoke to me now. As we drove away from that little Corvette I felt as if I had left part of my soul with it. Little did I realize that exactly one week later I would be driving around in it.

Some Honesty

2011-06-22T22:21:00.002-04:00

I love my mom. I want to say that first and foremost, because not only is it true now, but it will always be true, no matter what happens between us. It's also important for me to say that she has done absolutely nothing recently that has made me think ill of her (as I guess I'm probably thinking now). In fact, since moving out, my relationship with her has improved tremendously.

That being said, it's come to my attention numerous times over the last several months that I have somewhat of an inhibiting fear of my mother's opinion of me. I thought this fear would go away with time as I entered the adult world and I spent less and less time under her influence, but it simply hasn't. Most alarming, I recently came across an opportunity to do something very important to me, something I've wanted to do for a long time, and I almost didn't do it because I was worried she would resent me. And although I don't want her to resent me, I also don't want to rein myself in--to not experience life to its fullest--simply thinking that she might.

I don't think this is very normal. Is this the kind of thing people speak to their therapists about? Is this the kind of thing all children deal with as they become adults and cut the umbilical cord? I guess I don't know.

Facelift

2011-06-21T00:22:00.002-04:00

I changed my blog. !! I've also been married to Mike for over a year and we're both still alive!! Success! :D I'll write something noteworthy when I don't have to get up in six hours.

Endurance

2011-06-05T16:47:00.003-04:00

"Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of"

The last few months have taught me new things about myself which I never knew before. Too many things to describe them all here. Some too personal to describe here. But most importantly of all, I've realized the strength of the heart and the depth of forgiveness. I've underestimated myself--I didn't know myself until now.

"Each time you get up and get back in the race

One more small piece of you starts to fall into place."

--Rascal Flatts

Second Chance

2011-05-02T15:35:00.003-04:00

Over time, the days I've spent with Mike and the memories we have made together created a kind of structure, not unlike a building, with a strong and solid foundation, upon which we built our new life together. The care and tenderness we put into this process ensured that this structure, this love, could withstand the fierce blows of loneliness, separation, stress and much worse. My grandmother once explained to me that surviving a life together meant crossing over mountain after mountain of challenges. Sometimes you would enjoy the valleys together, when things were easy going and the weather would be calm. But then would come a mountain to climb, usually in the fiercest of hurricane winds, and it would be meant to test you. To pull at the cords that bound you together until only strings would be left behind. At times the outlook would seem bleak, but just when you think you could undergo no more, your journey would level out again and the winds would die down. You would recover... slowly building back what had been lost.

Pharmacy school was something like that. I hadn't anticipated another mountain for a while after that beast was done, but hey, when I'm wrong, I'm impressively wrong. I hadn't thought anything could even come close to being as difficult to endure together as those painful years had been.

Impressively wrong, as I said.

After such a long journey with this man I chose from a world of men, after building layer after layer of that structure of love, I find myself at the beginning with him. Stripped, trembling, and reduced to nothing but the raw material. Somehow, through all the horrible, regretful ways in which I was wrong, I was right about one vital thing--we've got the real thing. That magnificent kind of love that people write about, sing about, and long for. For surely only such a love could have somehow survived such a fatal blow, no matter its wounded state. I feel like I'm holding it now, carefully like a piece of old china cracked into a thousand tiny shards, and willing it to knit itself back together. I grieve over the parts of it I've lost--but a long time ago, on a beautiful day in June of 2004, I began with only this raw material, this spark inside me which he created. I love him. The rest of it just doesn't matter.

We left that life behind, and now we start anew. We've both learned things. Only he could tell you all that he has learned. For me, I learned that my confidence in our love for one another was not confidence at all, but all along I had been taking it for granted. I had assumed that we had paid our dues, that I would enjoy a lifetime with him in which we would face many challenges, but not once would we have to face them alone. We had each other. Thinking this way was a horrible mistake. If you love someone, hold on. Make them feel it, always. Never, ever, ever, assume that they can't be taken from you, either by choice or by fate.

Love endures all things. Regarding this, I was not wrong. But it is different now... scarred and raw, withering and small. It will be radiant once again, perhaps with time and constant attention. It is the most precious thing in this world to me. I have invested so much in it--trusted it and treasured it beyond all else. It is worth the agony, the tears, the moments of doubt and the awful loneliness. It lifts you up and makes you better than you were before. Like a chemical reaction, I can never return to what I was before I knew it. I cling to it desperately, because despite it all, I still believe in its power.

We left. We escaped that poisonous place where our love was put to the ultimate test. Now we take the first tremulous steps towards a new beginning--a second chance if you will. This time we'll do it better.

This time we'll do it right.

2011-03-22T13:42:00.002-04:00

What doesn't break your heart into a million tiny pieces...

Only makes you stronger.

Phuck You Pharmacy: Intro

2011-03-05T22:49:00.004-05:00

Someday, after I've served my debt to society, I will open my own DREAM pharmacy and it shall be called.... "Phuck You Pharmacy." My technician and I came up with this idea after a particularly nasty string of ungrateful patients visited us one slow afternoon. You see, being a retail pharmacist means putting up with a load of bullshit from the general public. It means accepting one fact that you've known all through school but have been secretly repressing because you wanted to believe it wasn't true--people are ungrateful.

People are just so, so, so damn ungrateful it should be a crime.

Working retail is like being a doormat, because of the "great" concept of 'consumer feedback.' Companies that employ pharmacies make the silly mistake of thinking that consumer feedback is not only honest, but also useful. For me, this basically means that people can be assholes to me, but if I so much as look at them funny in return, they can complain about me or my teams ability to deliver "quality customer service" which in turn hurts my pharmacy. Things that hurt my pharmacy hurt me, my sanity, and my paycheck. Bad news bears.

And so, I've created this wonderful utopia in my mind where I can go when the drudgery of reality becomes a little much for me. Phuck You Pharmacy. The idea of an aggressive pharmacy where I make all the damn rules and if you don't like them, you don't get your drugs. Period. A pharmacy where I can say whatever the hell I want and not get in trouble for it. This is a world in which I one day want to live.

Phuck You Pharmacy would have a very small sign which would be hard to see from the rest of the store, so that it would take patients hours to find us. Underneath the title, a description would read "where you get your shit and go." A small sign would be posted boldly at the drop off window, which would state "rudeness will require an additional 20 minutes to fill your prescription." A footnote would warn multiple offenders that we add five more minutes for each additional time you talk back and/or roll your eyes.

In my dream pharmacy, no one would complain about the cost of their medicine. The moment someone opened their mouth to even CONSIDER bitching about their copay, they would automatically have to pay the cash price and forfeit their insurance. As an additional bonus, this tactic might in fact help insurance companies to be better appreciated once patients learn what the REAL COST OF THEIR MEDICINE IS.

Anyone buying Sudafed would have to pass a drug test. Unless, of course, they were well-groomed, freshly showered, and had a drivers license in one piece with no paper stapled to it. There would be ABSOLUTELY NO EARLY REFILLS for controlled substances. I don't care if your dog ate it, you spilled it on the floor, you were stranded on a desert island after a plane crash, or whatever bullshit story you could cook up. I would have a special squad of hit men at my disposal whom I would dispatch whenever someone calls me to ask what color of cough syrup I have. I don't have time to waste in Phuck You Pharmacy.

We would close for lunch at a specific time each day, designated by our store hours sign, phone recording, and the giant sticker on the front doors of the main store. Any idiot who can't read ANY OF THOSE SIGNS and STILL comes up to my pharmacy past that specific time, gets the gate dropped on their head. No exceptions to this rule.

Anyone who comes back to pick up their script before the promised time gets automatically put to the back of the line.

In the world of Phuck You Pharmacy, there ARE stupid questions and no, you're not allowed to ask them.

Welcome to my pharmacy. More on this as I suffer through reality.

SnOWNED 2011

2011-02-03T16:34:00.003-05:00

So far there are exactly TWO (and so far ONLY two) things I miss about college--Christmas break and SNOW DAYS. OMG. I transferred a script from a pharmacist to the southwest of me on Tuesday before the snow hit, and I remember the conversation going something like this:

Me: So it's snowing where you are already, am I right?

Pharmacist: Yeah.

Me: They're hyping it up to be a blizzard--so what's it like??

Pharmacist: .... Well.... It's a blizzard.

Crap.

To make matters even more super-fantastic, I've been encumbered with the rhino virus from HELL this week, and I'm producing nasal secretions from both my nose and my throat that could choke a mammal much larger than myself. In fact, I am so impressed by what my lungs have produced that I save it in a cup to admire later. Mike doesn't appreciate this practice of mine so much, but I'm nothing if not a huge nerd deep down inside.

I was supposed to have three technicians helping me out on Wednesday, during the aftermath of the blizzard, and exactly ONE showed up just after three o'clock. I think I got five phone calls before lunch, three of which were from each of my technicians whining about how they couldn't get out of their driveways. You know what I have to say about that? DIG YOUR CAR OUT LIKE I DID. You call yourself a Michigander?? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! But people still expect to be able to get their drugs, even after a weather crisis, and I'm the one with the keys to the Happy Drug Room. Ironically, not a single doctor's office in Lansing was open that day. So much for providing an essential service, huh?

Luckily I have today off and I'm spending it trying to cough up the rest of the Death which has lodged itself in my respiratory tract. The physical capacity of my sinus cavities has impressed even me. I'm still in a state of drug-induced grogginess from the ONE HALF TABLET of Benadryl I took over 16 hours ago, and even the happy cough syrup that the druggies at work seek is looking pretty good to me right about now.

But the purple kind only, because I'm allergic to that red dye you know. *eyeroll*

Things That Drive Me Crazy-Bat-Shit in the Pharmacy, Part 2

2011-01-20T21:25:00.002-05:00

Printers.

My pharmacy has two large printers which can print prescription label information on special sticker labels (for bottles) and medication information on plain printer paper. At least 20% of my time in the pharmacy is spent un-jamming these printers. Sometimes, I unjam the printer multiple times before we even open. W.T.F. My printers are so awful that I've even given them names: Worthless and Dumbass. Worthless is (quite unfortunately) closest to my "area," as I like to call it. This printer jams the most and eats labels. Labels come out looking like they went through a blender, or like a dog recently chewed them to shreds. Paper will get lost inside and even though there are half a dozen parts which can be removed from the printer to get at paper jams, there are times when even that isn't enough. I can't find where the jam is, so I'm forced to ignore it and suffer tiny pieces of blackened label remains coming out with other labels throughout the day. Oh, and it seems to be always low on ink. F-ing always. Therefore, Worthless.

Dumbass rarely jams, but it can't seem to do anything quite right. It's always running out of either labels or paper, and instead of stopping to tell me that it needs a refill of one tray or another, it will just start printing on whatever is left. Because of this, I end up getting labels for bottles printed on plain printer paper, or medication information sheets printed across labels. I then must go back to the computer (after refilling the empty printer tray) and reprint all the prescriptions which got fucked up. Waste of my precious time!!

Closing Time.

I could be a Jedi all day long, rocking the scripts out like a pro and be completely organized and ready to leave right on time, and still have it all ruined within ten minutes of closing. It's one of the most insane things I have to deal with at work. The last call you want to get close to the end of the night is someone calling to ask, "Yeah.... when do you guys close?" Especially if they sound panicky, and get all freaked out when you tell them "We close in ten minutes."

"OMG BUT I NEED MY SCRIPT TONIGHT HOW AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET IT????""

You're going to get here before I shut the gates, that's how.

I seriously had a guy ask me, right after I told him that we close at 7 pm, that it would be okay for him to come a few minutes after seven because I would still be there, right? Right?? NO. If we closed at 7:05, I'd TELL YOU THAT. Wtf seriously?? I had another woman call me five minutes to close to ask if I could fill a prescription her doctor JUST CALLED IN before we closed. Because it happened to be an antibiotic for her sick kid, I told her I would put a rush on it to have it ready, IF she could get here before we closed. She was very grateful and thanked me profusely, but then proceeded to keep me on the phone for the remaining minutes we were open to TELL ME A DUMB STORY about how last time she tried to get her birth control filled she couldn't on time and WAAA WAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA. OMG. I honestly had to tell her that I needed to get off the phone so that I could do what she asked me to do!!

People are so dumb! IT KILLS ME!!!

Alright FINE

2010-12-28T19:52:00.002-05:00

Sometimes after arriving home I keep my coat on for about a half an hour, just because I'm too lazy to take it off. Beat that!

I know it's been awhile since I've updated, but I've got to be honest, I'm not as full of interesting blog material as I was in my college days. I consider the first two years of grad school to be my prime in that sense. Back then I could blog up to three times a day and it might actually be worth reading at least once! Now, I'm lucky if I can put together an entry once a week/month and be happy once it's finished. I suppose I've lost my touch. Most of my writing ideas stem from my career, and I'm acutely aware that no one is nearly as interested in pharmacy as I am, so why make anyone needlessly suffer?

Could my blog be on its last legs?? Because thinking of just that scenario makes me horribly sad, I might give it some more time and see what I can pull out of my ass. This place has been with me from almost the beginning of a transformation that made me who I am today. I owe it to continue as long as I can. In the mean time, I suppose whoever might be reading this is wondering what's been going on in my exciting life! Well! Let me tell you!

I still haven't mastered a work/life balance. I feel like I spend a lot of time working (or driving to work) and very little time doing everything else. It's probably not that bad (I'm a big, whiny baby). But it was especially hard this time of year because I usually have weeks leading into the holiday season during which I can simply enjoy being at home and being lazy, whereas this year I had.... one day. That was a total bummer. It was hard only seeing my family for a few hours, and only seeing Mike's family for a few hours, before returning to work and my normal routine. Although Christmas Eve and Day were spectacular! Mike and I spent a few hours in the car but we got to see everyone at least for a little while and I loved that so much! I still got to see my parents Christmas tree, my puppy, my stocking stuffed full, a wrapping paper war, and a three-part meal at Grandma's house. I can remember sitting on Grandma's couch talking to my cousin about working, Mike sitting next to me, and realizing that I'd reached that point. That point when I'm considering a real, contributing to society grownup. It felt good and bad at the same time. I've worked so hard to get there, but there were advantages to being a kid. Like more time with loved ones.

We've been married for six months now, and I can hardly believe how fast time has gone, and how much we've accomplished since that sweltering hot day in June. My life is so completely different that it's at times hard to keep up with it. I love it. I love everything about it, even the things that drive me crazy, like driving 100 miles round trip everyday to work at a pharmacy I've come to love. You know what I do for those 100 miles? I put my favorite tunes on my ipod and crank that shit up so loud. Sometimes I call people too, and the miles just fall away. I daydream. I think about the long, winding road that I traveled to get here and I strive to appreciate what I have now, lest I forget how valuable it all is to me.

Mike and I didn't exchange gifts for Christmas. We've been sleeping on his college futon since we were married, and decided instead to put some money towards getting a new bed. Today we went to Grand Rapids and picked out a queen size frame and mattress. It comes in two weeks and I'm SO EXCITED I COULD PEE!!!

I'll post pictures, so you'll be sure to get an update then, you whiny, greedy little bastards.

SmurfVille

2010-11-15T22:02:00.003-05:00

So, there's my real job and then there's the "stuff I do in addition to my real job" everyday. For the additional stuff, it can be broken down into two parts. Part 1: telling people where they can find random shit in the store, like eyebrow wax, dog food, breast pumps, etc. Part 2: playing police officer to all the drug-seeking fools that use prescription drugs for non-medical purposes. Some pharmacists don't give a hoot if someone is abusing Vicodin, or phenergan with codeine, or any other number of desirable substances, but I'm not one of those pharmacists. I am a pharmacist who went to school to help people get better, not to help people get high.

However, as annoying and draining as it can be, I do come home with some pretty interesting stories.

Patient: My Ultram was 10 days too early five days ago, but I'm going out of town and I need to get it!

Me: Your doctor instructed me to NOT fill it early.

Patient: He did?! But I'll be out of town! How am I supposed to get it when I'm gone??

Me: Where are you going?

Patient: California....

Me: Well, there are plenty of pharmacies in California, so you should be in good shape.

Patient: .....

SHUT DOWN!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Technician: Don't run it through her insurance--she wanted to pay cash for it.

Me: Of course she did. Run it through anyway and find out why.

Technician: ....... She just had it filled 3 days ago somewhere else.

SHUT DOOOOOOOWN!

Me: Your doctor called in an antibiotic and some cough medicine for you today.

Patient: I don't want the antibiotic--just the cough syrup.

Me: You can't have the cough syrup without picking up the antibiotic.

Patient: But I can't afford both!

Me: In that case I'm sure your body needs the antibiotic more.

OH SNAPZ

I'm like the f-ing Pentagon. I didn't learn this in pharm school--I got these mad skillz all on my own. :D

I also got a random romantic letter from a patient responding to my "flirting" which apparently took place while I administered his flu shot. I guess that will teach me to be more of an asshole to people from now on.

Big Girl

2010-11-05T11:52:00.002-04:00

I've felt a lot older lately, but in a good way. Even though I've been working as a pharmacist for months now, I still catch myself multiple times per week feeling like I can't believe I finally made it. I dreamed about this part of my life, and now everyday I get up and get to do it for real. It's hard work, this real life, but I'm so in love with it. I chose well. I'm so happy that I didn't give up or get discouraged. I'm relieved that when it was all over I still had enough passion to take enjoyment from it everyday.

I get along really well with my pharmacist partner. Together we run a tight ship and we're blessed with a fantastic team of technicians. I even got a name plate! I was so giddy (and dorky) over this that I even took a picture of it. :P I got my first plea for donations from FSU this week, and even though I loved their pharmacy program and I owe it a lot, I told myself that I wouldn't be donating to the college until after my students loans were paid off. I start paying those back in just a couple of weeks. I'd like to be free of them in six years, but we'll see how it goes and where life will take us.

Nick and Colleen got married!! I'm so happy for those two! We've been double-dating together since because I started grad school, and because Nick and Mike are best friends, I know we'll enjoy many more adventures together. :) Mike was the Best Man and I got to be a bridesmaid! I got to enjoy a morning of luxury with Colleen and her posse before the ceremony. We had our hair and makeup done by professionals! :D I've never had my makeup done before. I thought it looked very nice but I still don't think anyone knows my face/skin quite like I do. Colleen looked stunning and the wedding was lovely! They're currently wrapping up a two-week honeymoon in Europe! Can't wait to hear all about it (and finally go see Paranormal Activity 2!).

We bought a new car! It was becoming something of a necessity, especially with me driving an hour to work each day. We really wanted something safer, larger, more reliable, and that would last us quite a few years. We saved up some money and went car shopping about three weeks ago, and we finally settled on this Pretty! A 2008 Chevy Malibu. :) We are loving it!!! In fact, we're taking it on it's first road trip up to Traverse City later today. So excited!! I actually look forward to driving to/from work now! :)

They decorated the pharmacy for Christmas this week (God bless department stores). Even though I'm not ready for snow and cold for the next 5 months, I'm really very excited for the holidays. This will be the first time I'll get to enjoy them school-free!! I can't wait to get our new Christmas tree and decorate it, and I really want to get creative with wrapping presents this year. Maybe we'll send out a Christmas card--I've always wanted to do that! This will be my first Christmas waking up next to Mike.

Like I said, this is the time of my life I've been waiting all my life for. :)

Things That Drive Me Crazy-Bat-Shit in the Pharmacy, Part 1

2010-10-18T22:42:00.005-04:00

My pharmacy is very long and rectangular, with the pick up/drop off window at one end. I tend to work in the middle. Patients love to walk up to the window and clear their throat loudly, drop their keys on the counter, or otherwise make a ruckus to get my attention. I KNOW YOU'RE F-ING THERE! Can't I finish what I'm freaking doing first??
When people come up to me for a flu shot and answer my question of "Have we filled medicine for you before?" with "Oh I get all my scripts filled at WALGREENS." A simple "no" would suffice.
When people give me a hard time for closing my pharmacy for lunch. Do you have a job? Do you get to eat something at your job? SO DO I, ASSHOLE.
When people come up to the counter at two minutes to close and have a bitching fit when I tell them it will be ready tomorrow.
When people ask me for advice, and then blatantly disregard it and do whatever the hell they wanted to do in the first place.
When Sudafed-ers tie up my technicians. I don't have time for their bullshit.
Whenever I get a Phenergan with Codeine script along with an antibiotic, and the patient ONLY WANTS THE COUGH SYRUP SO THEY CAN GET HIGH. OMG who are you trying to fool?? Do you seriously think I'm stupid?!!?
When people try to tell me that they're taking drugs that don't exist, and when I tell them they don't exist, they act like I'm a complete idiot.
When people tell me I'm too young to be a pharmacist.
When people call the pharmacy and leave me a message on the voicemail, asking me to call them back. WASTE OF TIME.
When people say, "But I have refills left! My bottle says so!!" after I tell them I can't refill it because their prescription is expired. Do you drink the milk after it expires just because there's some left?
When people scream at me for "losing" their prescription only to come in the next day with it, realizing it was on their f-ing dining room table at home the whole time. No apologies either for the screaming at me part.
When people think we're not busy just because there isn't a line.
Whenever the doctor's office tells a patient that their prescription is ready at the pharmacy. That f-ing nurse/doctor/asshole doesn't know anything about what's going on in my pharmacy. And guess who gets yelled at?
When patients leave me voicemail messages that are 98% babbling. Unfortunately, the 2% of important stuff is at the end of the message, which forces me to listen to the whole damn thing to get it.
When patients start off a conversation by saying, "So I had some extra drugs from last time left over..."
Whenever a patient interrupts me while I'm counseling another patient. THAT IS SO RUDE OMG.
When I say "Sign and click 'OK'" and they click OK and then try to sign. IDIOTS.
When people treat the pharmacy like a check out lane. I have have significantly more important shit to do than ring up your new clothing, your groceries, and your electronics. I'm trying to save lives here.
Rude people. Someday, in my dream pharmacy, I'm going to have a sign which states boldly, "RUDENESS WILL REQUIRE AN EXTRA 15 MINUTES TO FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTION," and any asshole that gives me sass will be referred to the sign.

To be Continued...

____________

Less about work and more about my personal life in the next exciting episode!

Sudafed-ers

2010-10-03T22:30:00.003-04:00

People use the ingredient in Sudafed to make bad drugs, which is rotten news for me because our brilliant government has put all products containing psuedoephedrine behind the counter. Which basically means that every f-ing hipster who wants a package of 12 hours has to go through me first. After a pathetic three months as a full-fledged pharmacist, I'm already a Jedi at spotting these people from a mile away, mostly because they are brainless idiots.

Chicks usually come in alone and look like crack whores, but guys come in in pairs (how many men does it take to buy a package of Sudafed?). The person buying is typically more of a dumbass than his buddy. The buddy is there to make sure the buyer "gets the right one." Because in the REAL world--the world where people buy Sudafed for the ACTUAL sniffles--people don't care whether their bro from the hood has to take his Sudafed every 4 hours or every 12 hours. Only people who want it for other reasons give a shit.

Idiot: "No no dude, you want the twelve hour one, because you don't have to take it as much!"

Another Idiot: "I'll have to check with my mom first to make sure the 4-6 hour one will work just as well."

And by his mom he means the douche waiting in the van in the parking lot. Who do you think you're fooling???

Today I saw two Sudafed-ers down the cough and cold aisle after ringing someone up. They were shifty and glancing over at me too much, which only half gave them away. The other half had to do with the fact that they hadn't showered in about a week, and they had puke stains on the front of their shirts. I told my technician that they'd be coming up asking for it, and that he should tell them that we're out. Like clockwork, they came up to the counter and did the "dance" with my technician. The "sorry we're out of stock" dance. Usually this involves the douchebags acting all suspicious of us, as if certain that we pulled it off the shelve just to deny them purchasing it. Then they start asking about the "24 hour one" which doesn't exist, and eventually they end up buying the 4 - 6 hour package (because they are brainless idiots, as I already mentioned). My technician comes back over to the counter where I'm working, and I declare that in less than ten minutes they'll be back to return the package because their Leader will have informed them that they got the wrong kind. Sure enough, moments later he was back and my poor technician was tied up for ten minutes doing the refund.

Like I said, I'm a f-ing Jedi.

For Future Reference...

2010-09-13T23:17:00.003-04:00

I should start keeping a record of all the ridiculous excuses patients come up with to get their controlled medications prescriptions filled early. Today alone would lengthen such a list significantly. Let's enjoy! :D

Patient: "But I'm out!"

Me: "We gave you thirty day supply 13 days ago."

Patient: "Then how do you explain this??"

________

Patient: "I'm going out of town, so I'll need that filled early."

Me: "Okay. For how long will you be out of town?"

Patient: "Two weeks."

Me: "..... You still have enough to last 21 more days."

Patient: "It'll probably be longer than two weeks then!"

________

Me: "I can fill it but I'm going to need to verify with the doctor about this dose change."

Patient: "You can't call my doctor! He doesn't take calls!"
Me: "..... Okay, yes he does."

Patient: "He won't speak to pharmacists!"

________

Me: "You've been taking it four times a day?! Your doctor prescribed it for once daily."

Patient: "But if I don't get my clonazepam filled I'll have a panic attack and GO BLIND!"

________

I couldn't make better shit up.

Back By Popular Demand

2010-09-10T00:09:00.003-04:00

It's been an awkwardly long period of time since I updated my blog, and I guess at least two people are distraught over this. So, in a valiant effort to not disappoint my fans, I'm back by popular demand!

My life has been somewhat hectic lately, which partially explains my lack of blog posts. I've been working most of the time and trying to figure out a routine for the periods of time that I'm not working. I've started my new position in Lansing as an Executive Pharmacist, and so far that's been going very well! Although in my effort to impress my pharmacy manager, I've been working my friggin' lady balls off! I used to imagine that pharmacists get paid what they get paid because the schooling was long, expensive and very difficult, but now I know that being an actual pharmacist is just a lot of hard work. I love it-- even the long, stressful or bad days--but it is every bit as challenging as school was, and there are many more days than not that I go home mentally exhausted. I also experience bad dreams (anxiety dreams) quite often, which I'm told go away with time. I worry about making errors a lot, and battle with my low self-confidence often. I'm not sure how to describe this transformation that is happening inside me, but I will say this--the transition didn't end when I graduated school, or even when I passed the boards. Perhaps the most important part of me being a pharmacist is happening even right now, as I learn every day more and more what I'm meant to do.

Mike started school back up this week. His teaching position (which he occupied over the last two years) was eliminated due to budget cuts. He's managed to maintain a job position at the high school, but what he's meant to do on a day to day basis isn't quite as clear as usual. Right now he's helping to teach Journalism and developing a Writing Across the Curriculum... curriculum. I admire him during times like this. He's very brave and accepting of everything--even things he isn't pleased over. I'm not so sure that the average person has his ability to cope.

Tomorrow we're double-dating it up to Traverse City with Nick and Colleen for a long wine-tasting weekend! :D I'm so excited!! I've been working a lot lately so it'll be nice for a break, and we always have a great time with those two. I'll be sure to take pictures (as usual).

And now for something completely irrelevant-- my iPhone automatically corrects things which I spell wrong or letters which I might put in the wrong order when I'm searching web browsers, Facebooking, or texting. My computer doesn't do that, and IT MAKES ME ANGRY.

Sleep time.

Things

2010-08-18T19:40:00.003-04:00

I just took my iPhone to the bathroom with me to perform some updates, and I was sitting there for so long that I created more urine twice. This may be due in part to the two apple sangrias I just had, but whatever. Do you feel closer to me now? >:-D

I also changed my contact lenses today. I'm not so sure I've complained about my contacts yet in my blog. I HATE my contacts. In fact, they just came out with daily disposable contacts which I'm eagerly awaiting to switch to as soon as my current prescription expires. My contact lenses have been responsible for giving me chronic dry eye, red eye, and an ulcer. OMG. I can't tell you the number of times I've seriously considered switching back to glasses, but I haven't let myself go through with it yet. It's getting to the point, however, that I'm so angry when I change my contact lenses that I rip them into tiny shreds and curse at them as I throw their useless carcasses into the trash after two weeks of use. *angry black cloud of hate*

And now for more relevant things.

I learned (again) how to give intramuscular and subcutaneous (beneath the skin) injections today, in preparation for flu season coming up soon. Because pharmacists are allowed to give injections in the great state of Michigan (*snicker*), I was required to become certified. We learned this before in a laboratory I had in pharmacy school, but today was even more delightful! Instead of stabbing a random colleague once with a needle, I got to stab them three times! :D Of course, I also got stabbed three times myself, so I guess that's karma. I also updated my CPR certification, so if you happen to choke, have a heart attack, almost drown or otherwise stop breathing in my presence, I might just be able to save your ass.

The pharmacy business partner in my district officially offered me the position in the Lansing store which I mentioned. I eagerly accepted! :D

Tomorrow I work for 12 hours all by my little lonesome and then the hubby and I are driving up to Lake Huron for a much needed, much deserved 3-day siesta from reality. B-)

Finally

2010-08-16T11:02:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was the pharmacist. In the morning I opened the gate, ran it smoothly all day, and at closing I shut it down. I find myself appreciating the years and years of prep that made me ready for that day. Look at me.

I'm finally, finally doing it for real.

Bathroom Etiquette

2010-08-08T22:06:00.003-04:00

Mike: You pinch that shit until everyone leaves or wait for a toilet to flush!

_______________

Guest: Where can I find Tylenol?

Me: I'm sorry but all Tylenol brands have been recalled until September.

Guest: Oh my. *distraught* What am I supposed to use then??

Me: ...Well, you can still use acetaminophen. That's the same medication as Tylenol just not the brand name.

Guest: *wide-eyed* Oh no. I couldn't do that.

Me: *head/desk*

_______________

You know, it really doesn't matter how many times I go ape-shit over this topic, it just never seems to get old. Or to phase itself out. People are just dumb-asses and it seems like that's not going to change any time soon. No matter how many patients I try to convince that the active ingredient in Tylenol is the same damn thing as the active ingredient in the generic product, I just can't seem to make a difference in the world. The difference between generic and brand name Tylenol is like $3 or something. Nothing else. And you can tell Them I said that.

Which brings me to the similar topic of immunizations linked to Autism. Of course, there is no link, but various ignorant people continue to believe so because one time ten years ago they saw it on Rosie O'Donnell's show or something just as silly. The mountain of scientific evidence to suggest the LACK of association between vaccines and Autism is overwhelming, and NO (I repeat--NO) evidence exists ANYWHERE to prove otherwise. OMG. But there are groups of people in the world who believe things just because, and they simply cannot be told or shown any different. I suppose I should simply give up, but I just can't.

Alright. I'm done with those soapboxes for now.

Being a pharmacist is going swimmingly. This is my last week of training, so starting a week from tomorrow I'll be flying solo for the first time--my last giant leap in this journey. After that a few months of nervousness and low self-esteem will follow and then I'll spend the rest of my life feeling like a badass. Sweet. My employer seems to really like me. I might even have a store placement right out of training in Lansing, which I'm extremely excited about! :D It feels good to get a paycheck every two weeks and contribute (finally) to my cost of living. I've also rewarded myself a little here and there, which at first induced a lot of guilt but I got over it. Okay maybe I'm still getting over it. Whatever.

Mike is doing well, always on the prowl to improve our internet connectivity! ;) Lately we've been day-dreaming about buying a house which is exciting even if we're not ready yet. It's fun to think about even going through that together. We're considering going up to the cabin the weekend after next to get some swimming/sailing in before it turns frigid and awful again.

Which reminds me. I'm so excited for fall (as usual) because I love to wear jeans, light jackets, hoodies and sweaters. I also love the slightly cooler weather and the leaves changing. But for some reason this year all I can think about is that as soon as fall gets here, winter will quickly follow. The only thing I like about winter is Christmas, that's it. After that we get stuck with two and a half months (at least) of snow storms, treacherous driving conditions, dark by five o'clock, and so f-ing cold your cheeks freeze.

Uuuugh.

Long Time

2010-08-07T23:37:00.001-04:00

It's been a while. Such a long while in fact that it's awkward. Tomorrow I will return as if this siesta never happened and write something witty about my life. The witty part might be a lie to fluff it up though. ;)

Life After School

2010-07-18T20:40:00.003-04:00

I've spent most of my youth dreaming of what this time of my life would be like. I'm satisfied to say that it's everything I expected and wanted it to be and yet none of it all at once. The hardest part for me is learning to have spare time again. I just haven't figured out exactly how to utilize it yet. I can't remember how to have hobbies and it's like I'm re-discovering them. I've had either homework or a test to study for for so long that I can't remember what I ever did before that. Even so, it's been more refreshing than I could've dreamed to have this time. To have an overabundance of time.

My job has been going very well! I feel like I'm learning fast and I'm more committed to the training process than I ever have been before because this is the real thing. This is a career I have invested myself in, so I don't just want to be 'good enough,' I want to be excellent. I'll let you know how that goes. ;)

Ionia is very beautiful this time of year. There are so many crop fields right now and they just take my breath away when I drive past them every evening. Lots and lots of wildflowers too. There's this old chapel on the way to the highway that I love so much. I drive past it and think about all the years it must've seen sitting on that lonely corner of road. Someday I'll have to take a picture.

Changing my name legally has been a lot of work, along with figuring out our bank accounts, health insurance, and how in the world Amanda McDonald is going to cash Amanda Jobin's first paycheck next week. Slowly I'm learning though and I can't really complain. It's a little exciting when I sit back and think about it. :)

This weekend is the Ionia Free Fair and I'm so excited!! It's a huge deal around here (maybe the only officially cool thing that happens in this town?) and I'm hoping to have my brother and his girlfriend out to go with us. :D

Rx Banter

2010-07-15T21:59:00.002-04:00

Walgreens Pharmacist: I need to give you five prescriptions.

Me: Geez, five?

Walgreens Pharmacist: Unfortunately. We have someone who is very unhappy and leaving us.

Me: What did you do?

Walgreens Pharmacist: I have no idea. Tried to figure out why he was taking two different benzodiazepines at bedtime at the same time maybe?

Me: He sounds like a real winner. I'm so excited to meet him.

Walgreens Pharmacist: May the Force be with you.

Married Life

2010-07-13T22:23:00.001-04:00

Me: I think I'm going to take a quick shower.
Mike: To shave your legs?

Me: Wtf are you trying to say??

Amanda, Rockstar Pharmacist

2010-07-12T21:19:00.003-04:00

Today was another milestone for me. I was granted access to our pharmacy computer system and given my own pharmacist password, which means my initials now appear on prescription bottles as the pharmacist who signed off on the medication. The first prescription I dispensed 100% completely on my own without anyone to check my work was for Cipro (complete with a four-star counseling session ;) ). Afterwards....

Kristan: Look at you! You did it! How does it feel?

Me: It feels like I want to throw up.

____________________________________

The pin in the picture above was given to me on my wedding day by Mike's great Uncle John. Uncle John became a pharmacist over 50 years ago (and still practices to this day!) and at the time he became registered he received this pin, which he has graciously passed along to me. With it he gave me this note:

Amanda:

I hope you won't mind if I use this occasion to pass this small tribute on to another pharmacist.

This pin was given to me over 50 years ago as a new pharmacist.

So I wish for you to have it to keep the tradition going in your pharmacy career. Good luck and keep those pills rollin'.

Best wishes,

Uncle John, RPh

Werky

2010-07-07T20:40:00.002-04:00

Oh my, where should I start?? First of all, it's 90 f-ing degrees in my apartment, day and night, and after days of cold showers and being so hot and sweaty that we avoid even touching one another, Mike and I broke down and bought ourselves a window air conditioning unit. About 30 seconds into helping Mike (take it out of the box) I sliced my thumb up so bad it bled through 3 Bandaids in about 10 minutes. Later, while putting it in the window, I slammed two other fingers in the window frame and made one of them bleed too. I'm so slick. Luckily I still have seven good fingers left to sling the pills tomorrow!

Speaking of slinging pills, I started working!! OMG. Not some crummy paid-like-an-intern summer job, but my career. After 25 years of working hard to reach this point in my life, I finally get to.... work some more! Yeah!! Woohoo!

All joking aside though, two very important things have happened to me since I started my new job. First, I've realized that school is indeed over. And while this is frightening to imagine (no more training wheels!) I am also so exhilarated to realize that I'm not putting myself further into debt, but instead working to propel us out of it. I've accomplished the dream I've worked so hard to reach, and now I get to live it every single day. I get to be a real pharmacist--something I have watched my mentors do with wistful eyes as I day dreamed about the day it would be me. These first steps are shaky and unsure, but I'm ready to spread those wings. I'm ready to become all my potential has to offer.

The second thing I realized is that when I drive home every night, I'm driving home to Mike. I still remember when he dropped me off at FSU that very first time over four years ago. It was raining and dark, and I watched while crying quietly as he drove away. That was the first of hundreds of awful goodbyes. Much like my role as a pharmacist, being with him like this was something that I grew accustomed to daydreaming about, thinking I would always be striving towards it but never actually reach it. Now it's here, and it is so heartwarming in it's simplicity and worth to me.

There are so many new things. New apartment, new neighbors, new clothes, new last name, but I'm going to have to play catch-up a little here, and it may take some time. :) My brain and blog are still catching up with all the events that have happened to me since May, but I'll be up to speed soon enough. In the meantime, I need suggestions for a quirky, drug-related codename for my new employer because I want to refrain from using the company's name here. Don't let me down people!

Happy Girl

2010-07-01T11:11:00.002-04:00

Mike and I made it to our wedding day on June 19th, 2010, six years after our first date on June 20th, 2004. After those first two weeks together we were saying "I love you," and after a month we were talking about forever. We knew. I don't know how we knew and I probably never will, but we knew.

It hasn't always been perfect. I think there have been times when Mike and I have hurt each other more than we have any other person. But even through the short few years I've known him, I've learned enormous amounts regarding love. I've learned it is the strongest force in all the universe, and that if it runs true and deep and you're willing to sacrifice for it, it can do and endure anything. I've also learned that it is somehow simultaneously fragile and worthy of the fiercest of protection against the doubters, against each other's doubts, and even the demons inside everyone's own heart. I've learned to hold on. If you've found it, make sure you hold on. Loving Mike has been one of the most fulfilling and rewarding choices I have ever made, worth every tremulous step it took to reach June 19th.

Even as sure as I was in my choice, getting married shook me up. I remember standing with my Dad outside the chapel, waiting for the pastor's wife to tell me it was okay to come up to the steps. I was fighting back tears and trying desperately not to panic over a fit of nerves I couldn't describe, even now. Somehow, gripping my father's arm, I made it to the front doors which opened in front of me, and there he was. I saw him and realized that this was what was missing. When I reached Mike at the altar I squeezed his hands tightly the whole time, and his smile melted away everything. Today we announced to the world what we've both known for a very long time--we're partners in life. It was nothing more or less than that simple fact.

The whole day was simply spectacular--every single moment of it. The sky was beautiful and I was surrounded by so many people that loved not only me, but Mike and me, together. It was the most amazing day of my entire life. When we reached the reception I danced my heart out, smiled for every second, and laughed as if I were the happiest girl in the whole world. And I am.

I wanted to say something special for my bridesmaids. I chose five girls to stand beside me--my sister Kristen (Maid of Honor); my childhood friend Beth (Matron of Honor); my friend since my WMU days, Shruti; and two friends from pharmacy school, Beth and Colleen. I love each and every one of these girls as if they were all my sisters, for they have loved me, supported me, encouraged me and protected me like family, some of them throughout my entire life. True friendship is as rare as true love, and I have found it in these five fantastic women. They have always, always had my best interest at heart and I could never ask for a better gift from them. Not only did they take great care of me on my wedding day, but they take great care of me every day. The only way I could ever thank them enough is to strive to be as wonderful a friend to them as they have done for me. :)

After the wedding Mike and I kicked off our marriage in style on a 7-day cruise in the Caribbean, aboard this beautiful ship, Freedom of the Seas! We visited the islands of CocoCay (Bahamas), St. Thomas (U.S. Virgin Island) and St. Maarten (Virgin Island) and had an absolute blast!! I could tell you about everything we saw and did, but I wrote down everything in a journal and it took me twenty-five pages there so I'll spare you. ;) I did, however, take a ridiculous amount of pictures which speak volumes in and of themselves! If you'd like to check them out visit my ever-updated photo gallery. :P

**Honeymoon**

**Wedding**

I'll never have a honeymoon again, but I'm looking forward to many more vacation adventures with Mike. :) Now we are both living in Ionia, after years of living apart, and it still feels wonderful to think about never saying goodbye again. :')

Mr. & Mrs.

2010-06-28T02:08:00.003-04:00

Love is a high wire act

I've found my net below

I married the love of my life on June 19th! I could not have asked for a more spectacular day--it was simply magical in every single way. Since then, I've spent eight amazing days as Mike's new wife and I couldn't be happier! :) Much more on this later though--for now we are back from the honeymoon and exhausted!! :P

Licensed

2010-06-17T15:49:00.002-04:00

I found out today that I'm a licensed pharmacist, which could only mean that I passed both of my board exams! I can't explain how I felt when I saw my registration number, instead of the usual "pending" next to my status. Getting the exams finished before the wedding was gift enough, but actually finding out that they went smoothly was such a wonderful surprise! It was simply the best wedding gift I could have ever asked for.

I never have to study again!!

Lady In Waiting

2010-06-16T19:45:00.004-04:00

Five days before the wedding I managed to finish both of my board exams. I had no delusions about this being easy, so when it turned out to be one of the most stressful things I've done in school I tried to take it in stride. I told myself that being able to go on my honeymoon without a thought of school in my head would be worth anything I would have to go through to make it happen--and I was right. So worth it.

Now I've been scrambling to accomplish last-minute things for the wedding, pack up what remains of my things at Mom and Dad's, and pack for the honeymoon. In three days I'll be married to the man I've wanted to be with since our very first date, and there will be no more goodbyes for us. Much like graduation, I feel like I've been striving for this my whole life. I'm ready to put love, family and friends first for a change, and put school, being a pharmacist, and work far from my mind. Now is that time and I'm going to soak up every moment.

Inside of me is like a supernova. :D

My Masterpiece

2010-06-11T13:31:00.000-04:00

........says it all :)

Post-Nipplex (for MJ ;) )

2010-06-10T18:58:00.002-04:00

Me: You help me so much. You're like... Mike-Zen.
Mike: Making people happy since 1983.
-----------------
Beth: I kept my phone down my bra and between my boobs on vibrate so that I would feel you when you called back!
Me: .......... I feel so close to you now.
Beth: You kind of felt me up!
-----------------

Well, I survived the NAPLEX. Having done this, I can definitely say that preparing for that exam was the single most awful thing I can ever remember doing, followed closely (and in order) by Internal Medicine, Chemo, and BioChem. Notice all these awful things involve pharmacy school? WTF WAS I THINKING????

I've been studying for this beast since mid-March, before excited thoughts of graduation were swirling around in my mind and long before I could even dream about getting excited that the wedding was getting closer. When I told people I wanted to take these stupid tests before the wedding they all looked at me like I was insane--and they were right. But it was honestly the best choice I could have made. Not only do I deserve to relax and have a blast without the thought of board exams looming over my head my entire honeymoon... but so does Mike. He's earned my undivided attention after sharing it for four years with my needy, handicapped child named PHARMACY SCHOOL.

The test was pretty rough and I felt mentally exhausted after it was finished. I'm anxious to know if I passed or not, but I told myself that no matter how I felt I would push it from my mind and move on to the next thing--MPJE. The pharmacy law exam I take on Monday morning, and then I will be free. Only four more nights of studying. And all this school crap aside, I'm getting married in 9 days!!!

So I'm glad that this is over. The last 36 hours have felt like a long, drawn-out panic attack as I clung to the edge of my sanity. But thanks to the kind words of my family, cheer leading encouragement from my most cherished friends, and oodles of love from Mike, I made it to the other side of this. Another hurdle in my rear view mirror, and only ONE MORE TO GO!!

My Hero ;)

2010-06-05T10:27:00.002-04:00

Me: Man, I'm so glad I'm not graduating from high school tonight.

Mike: Me too. When I graduated from high school, I hardly knew anything about the zombie apocalypse! These kids are fucked!

_______________________

Me: Can you fix it?

Mike: Pfft, of course sweetie, it's me. You see this badge? It's a "do anything I want and get away with it" badge.

Bachelorettes

2010-06-03T11:35:00.003-04:00

This past weekend was my groovy up north Bachelorette weekend, which can only really be described by a series of quotes and pictures! I'll let them do the talking ;)

Me: I think Beth left something on her car...
Beth: It's the penis cake!! Get it before it melts!
--------------------------
Me: Why is the jizz orange?
Beth: He's been on Rifampin.
---------------------------
Me: What are we going to do with all these bananas?
Colleen: Carve penises out of them!
--------------------------
Colleen: It only counts if you swallow, right?
-------------------------
Me: I taught her how to eat meat.
Beth and Colleen: *judgmental laughter*
Me: Chicken. Chicken!!
-------------------------
Tom Tom: After 350 feet, turn left!
Beth: You're not the boss of me Tom Tom!
------------------------
Beth (on marriage): It's like a life sentence only three times as bad, because most life sentences are only 20 years or something.
-----------------------
Beth: My mouth is out of practice. It's not used to blowing this much.
-----------------------
Me: Ugh, you know what we suck at?
Beth: Penis?
-----------------------
Beth: I like your penis!
-----------------------

Ahem, so needless to say, there was a lot of penis going on. I guess we wouldn't be doing the term "bachelorette" any justice without that! ;) Anyway, I had a fantastic time and the weather was beautiful! We were able to do a ton even with the limited amount of time we had and the limited amount of girls who could make it. :)

Now it's crunch time, as I prepare to take the NAPLEX literally one week from today and become Mrs. McDonald two weeks from Saturday! O_O

Doomsday

2010-05-26T09:59:00.001-04:00

NAPLEX: June 10th at 8 AM
MPJE: June 14th at 8 AM

Too late to be scared. There's no turning back now.

BUG HATE

2010-05-25T22:14:00.002-04:00

It's really warm. Ugh.

Apparently the enormous flying ants are swarming right now, and somehow there are dozens loose in my room. I'm not exaggerating. I'm scared to sleep with my mouth open.

Speaking of nasty bugs, Mom and Dad get these caterpillars which build silk nests in the bushes by the driveway and consequently kill them (the bushes). I mistakenly thought they were harmless, adorable little caterpillars which build cocoons and transform into butterflies, and ended up rescuing two and transporting them to a nearby tree. Afterward I discovered that they are the bush-killing culprits! OMG. I was so ashamed. Mom and I killed them with fire (kidding kidding, it was bleach water) and that did the trick. Fuckers.

I spent a few hectic days with Mike in Ionia, going to his final two lacrosse games of the season and wrapping up some wedding plans. Things are a little crazy! I will be so happy when we're on the cruise and don't have to think about anything else but each other for a change. This weekend he's going with his boys to Boston and I'm taking my favorite ladies up north for Bachelorette weekend! I'm very excited, but even more so for the wedding to finally get here so we can all party down together. :)

Today I received permission from the Michigan Board of Pharmacy to schedule my NAPLEX and MPJE board exams. I was worried this would come too late and postpone my test-taking until after the wedding, but it seems like my prayers have been answered. Now it's more of a "be careful what you wish for" kind of feeling, because I'm so scared and don't feel ready at all. But I'm going to schedule it approximately two weeks out from the wedding and go for it. I'm ready to close this chapter and be free.

Shruti-pie

2010-05-24T00:49:00.005-04:00

Shruti: pfft, I know. I've SEEN IT. You know -- in my sexy dirty dreams about you.

Me: Only you could say that to me. ;)

Shruti: *jizz*

_ _ _ _

Me: OMG YOU HAVE SHINGLES?

Shruti: Yeah.

Me: THAT IS SO COOL! (sorry)

Shruti: I KNOW RIGHT? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! I kept looking at it and touching it.

______________________

What would I do without this girl? I hardly know.

Going to the Chapel

2010-05-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

.... quite literally in ONE MONTH! :D

The 2 AM Conspiracy

2010-05-17T22:47:00.003-04:00

A conversation with Mike prompted the following random, completely pointless thought....

... Sometimes in the middle of the night, usually around a time when I'm a little more stressed or worried (aka an exam, the first day of a new rotation, etc etc) I wake up unexpectedly. I never, EVER wake up in the middle of the night without looking at the clock, so quite naturally this is the first thing I do. Only on these specific occasions, the clock might say, oh, 2:30 AM for example, and I have just no idea what that means. Is 2:30 AM good or bad? I don't know. I stare and stare, usually squinting because I'm a fraction away from being completely blind, and try to make sense out of it. Eventually I start to become paranoid, like time is some kind of conspiracy created by the government to give me seizures. Or I imagine that I've missed something hugely important and now I must panic. Eventually I realize that 2:30 AM is not a bad thing--in fact, usually it's a good thing because 2:30 AM means I still don't have to get up for several hours--and I obsessive compulsively check my alarm half a dozen times to make sure it's set properly before going back to sleep (usually feeling ashamed and embarrassed). I thought that maybe I was the only one who experienced this (layers of my sanity have been slowly peeling away for years now), but I was delighted to discover today that this happens to Mike too! And.... and maybe other people!

.................

Anyway, not being in school has been super-fantastic. I don't have to drive at least an hour to go somewhere and work for less than free and then come home and attempt to squeeze eight hours worth of studying/working out/being social/wedding planning into a three hour block of time. I can visit people whenever I want instead of just on Saturday and Sunday. If I want to see my fiance, I can just go and see him. OMG.

The downside of being out of school is that now the majority of my days are filled almost exclusively with studying for the board exams. THIS IS AWFUL FOR ME. The NAPLEX covers everything that I learned in school, aside from law which is covered separately. How does one go about studying everything??? I read my entire NAPLEX review guide (900 pages) but somehow feel dumber than I did when I started. So much work left to do and so little time that I just feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I just have to not think about it so that my blood pressure can return to normal.

I also realized that I'm getting married in four weeks. Seriously, OMG. Trying to squeeze in wedding details around studying and visiting loved ones has been a little hairy. I can't believe Mike and I have reached this point. I'm so excited. Much like graduation, I doubt it will feel real until comes up and bites me in the armpit.

I got to visit my sister Kristen this weekend, which I very much wanted to do before the wedding. I was able to meet some of her crew members (which was quirky and fun ;) ), eat cake and ice cream, play hours and hours of Zelda, and see her new car!! Ok, she has cup holders with color changing lights!!. I don't even have cup holders. That's pretty badass. I had a blast and of course was sad to leave. I was also able to visit my Grandma while downstate. I love visiting Grandma--talking to her is good for my soul. :) And she gave me Christmas cookies. *squeal*

This week I'm going to study my lady balls off and then visit Mike from Wednesday on. Bizzy bizzy bizzy.

From #195

2010-05-09T20:45:00.004-04:00

My 195 moment came on a beautiful Monday in June of 2006. Four years later I walked the stage, after being introduced as "Dr. Amanda Jobin," and completed at last my higher education. After seven long years of hard work, stress and tears, I reached what I had been striving for my entire life. I day-dreamed about what the moment would feel like, the moment when I would transition from student to professional. It was amazing--just as I imagined it to be. Now I'm a pharmacist.

This is my masterpiece.

Thank you friends and family for believing in me, for being proud, and for listening to my pharmacy journey stories. Thank you Mike for lifting me up, picking up the phone every night, for talking me out of giving up, and for loving me so much. The hug you gave me at the end was
worth every minute.

Dr. Me

2010-05-08T18:44:00.004-04:00

"At last the ladder,
which had been built slowly, slowly, one hope at a time,
reached up to the clouds....
and the dreamer began to climb."

2010-04-29T14:47:00.001-04:00

DONE

WITH

PHARMACY

SCHOOL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April Showers! :D

2010-04-27T18:12:00.002-04:00

I've decided that getting married is something I should do more often, because not only do you get to wear a pretty ring and get yourself a husband, but you also get oodles of cool presents!! I could get used to this! :D

Sunday was the second of my Bridal Showers. I've been very lucky in that both my family and Mike's family wanted to throw me separate showers! This one was at a golf course in Lansing and we had a great turn out! All but one of my bridesmaids (who lives in Pennsylvania) made it too, so I got to see my favorite girlies! Beth brought her adorable offspring, Nolan, and he was a BIG HIT. Everybody loved him and I ended up having more pictures of him than anything else! ;) I had a really, really fun time. Debbie and her sisters did an amazing job putting it together for me--I'm such a lucky girl!

Mike and I got some really awesome stuff! I can't wait to unpack it all this weekend. Right now it's a giant mountain in Mike's living room. ;) We finally have a vacuum to suck up my wads of hair off the hallway floor, and a new microwave to replace the one I've moved from dorm to apartment to dorm 14 times!! Kristen also got me my favorite ice cream dishes and Mom passed the family wine glasses down to me. :) It was lots of fun and I got to wear a veil! *SQUEAL*

Okay. That was really fluffy.

This is my last week of pharmacy school and I graduate next Friday.

*SUPERNOVA!!*

Ulcer Fun

2010-04-20T12:49:00.003-04:00

So I gave myself an ulcer on my eye last week. I do not recommend this approach to avoid studying. There are several much more enjoyable, much less expensive ways to put off the inevitable, although it did get me one sweet day off of my rotation and the first mid-day nap I've had since finals week my first year of school. Apparently I had some kind of sensitivity reaction to my contact lens solution which was then made worse by my ripping off precious epithelial cells each time I removed my contacts. Uuuugh. Don't get an ulcer on your eye. NOT FUN.

Anyway, over $100 and one 5 mL bottle of Tobradex later and I'm back to wheeling and dealing drugs up in Saginaw (for only EIGHT MORE DAYS!!!).

This past weekend was super special because it was my beloved's 27th BIRTHDAY!!! Oh man he's getting old. He tells his students he's 40 (for respect? I don't know) but coming up soon he won't need to. Geez. I should trade him in for a newer model. ;) Anyway, we had a little get-together at his parents' house for gift opening which was lots of fun as always. They even got him an apple pie (because he hates cake) with candles on it to blow out! Awwww. They also made him clean the gutters though, so that kind of balanced things out.

I tried my hand at jewelry making this weekend because that's something I'm interested in giving a shot post-grad. I ended up making lots of things and it was crazy fun! *EXAMPLE* Unfortunately, the whole time I was doing it all I could think was "I should be studying right now." Studying and thinking about studying is the root of all evil. ALL EVIL.

This weekend I get to chaperone Prom with Mike (:D) and then Sunday is my second BRIDAL SHOWER!! And I'll get to see my girls!! :D I'm so excited.

Fun With Capsules

2010-04-13T22:07:00.001-04:00

This little guy is what I use to brew up some capsules for your eating pleasure.

Cookin' Up Some Drugs

2010-04-11T20:18:00.005-04:00

Last rotation is Healthway Pharmacy, a specialty compounding pharmacy in Saginaw. So far it's been great!! We get to work in labs and make patient-specific products not available from commercial manufacturers. So far I've made:

Lollipops
Capsules (fav!)
Ointments
Creams
Solutions
Suspensions
Lozenges

... with plenty more to come I'm sure. It takes me about three times as long to make something as it does the other more experienced lab techs, but they are so patient with me! :) We also make veterinary and sterile products which have been interesting to see. On Thursdays I call every single patient to make sure their product is working well and they don't have any questions/concerns! That's what I call customer service. ;)

I was able to attend my first Baptism today (aside from my own which I naturally don't remember)! Our friends Ben and Allison were having their lovely daughter Myra baptized. It was pretty interesting, but more of a church service and less of a baptism than I was expecting. Lots of singing which I performed horribly out of tune and "Peace be with yous" while all I could think about is whether or not these people wash their hands after using the bathroom. >_<

We went shopping this weekend to get Mike some pants, but didn't end up finding the kind he really liked. I, of course, had no such trouble. I ended up getting two blouses, two pairs of pants, and three cocktail dresses. OMG I have a problem.

This Is It

2010-04-04T23:30:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is April 5th, which means the next 25 days will be the very last I'll spend in Pharmacy School. The very last I will ever be a student. For those of you reading this that have been a student with me, I'm sure you can understand it when I say this: there were times when I thought I'd never reach this point. School has felt like a treadmill--I'm constantly running but not going anywhere. Tomorrow is my last first day and before I know it I'll be walking that stage.

I find myself remembering.

I remember my rejection letter and when I was assigned that fateful number: 195. I remember watching the Waiting List climb higher and higher, and then seeing it reach me. I stood there looking at it, as my life literally changed before my eyes, and the world stopped spinning for the briefest moment. Since then, I have changed tremendously.

My confidence has grown (though I still struggle with it often, but not as much) and my priorities have changed. I've learned the difference between a friend and a true friend. I've discovered how hard it is to make the right decisions, to make them in the right order, and to wait, wait, wait for the rest of my life to start. But life happened to me in Pharmacy School too, and even though I cursed it, cried over it, hated it so much--I can't help but love it a little too. Aside from a wealth of knowledge, it gave me wonderful friends; many I will carry with me forever. It strained my every relationship but made me appreciate each one all the more. It could've torn me away from Mike (and almost did, more than once) but never managed--in fact, it taught us how to love each other better and more completely. It taught me the value of patience and it gave me self-worth the likes of which I didn't know before.

Just like four years ago, I find myself nervous and a little afraid to move forward from here. Something new is happening to me, and though I believe myself to be brave, new things are always a little scary. I remember a quote that helped me back then, and not so oddly enough, it fits even now.

Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

Spring Break

2010-04-01T09:33:00.004-04:00

Although P4 students have no official Spring Break, I sort of got a surprise unofficial one! I was supposed to complete my March rotation yesterday, the last calendar day of March, but my preceptor was on vacation this week so she released me early!! :D I already had Thursday and Friday off for Easter, so I ended up having the entire week off.

My March rotation ended well--I didn't particularly like the Apothecary Shoppe and I didn't exactly give them as nice a grade as they gave me, but that's the way it goes. I pay a lot of money for each of my rotations, and I spent most of this one working on things that the pharmacists didn't want to work on. That aside, it's over now and I'm still rocking out a 4.0 for my final year of school. :D

The NAPLEX is fast approaching and I'm scared to death. I've been studying but it doesn't feel like I know very much and it's putting a huge damper on my graduation excitement. I suppose I'm going to have to separate those two events--I worked so hard that I deserve to really enjoy my graduation. If I'm still far away from being prepared for the NAPLEX then I'll have lots of time post-grad to prepare. And just leave it at that.

With my week off I visited my sister downstate for a few days, which was great fun as always!! We went to see How to Train Your Dragon which was awesome! As some of you may already know, I'm a little obsessed with dragons so seeing this movie was a must for me. I've found that even really, really crappy movies are enjoyable to me if they have a dragon in them. However, such was not the case, for I loved this movie and can't wait for it to be released on video! :D Kristen and I also stayed up embarrassingly late playing Zelda: the Ocarina of Time on the N64 (one of my all time fav Zelda games). I'm really terrible at this game, especially without my brother Chris who has been my walking, talking game guide for every video game EVER since his birth. Even so, I made it all the way to the end!! And luckily Kristen enjoys watching me so that worked out well. ;) I was sad to leave on Tuesday. :(

Now I'm spending the remainder of the week with Mike in Ionia, even though he has school until the end of today. Speaking of Mike, he's like the Super Teacher, which I don't think I've mentioned yet. On top of all the other things Mike does to teach (which is a LOT btw), he's also leading a Google Docs training class for other teachers AND he's been coaching the all new Ionia Lacrosse team!! So he's pretty amazing, but I knew that already. ;)

Monday I start my last month of pharmacy school. OMG. But that's a blog entry in and of itself.

It's also gorgeous out. It's so sunny, warm, and open-the-windows-at-night worthy. Somehow I find myself suddenly on the other side of another winter; a winter that for some reason seemed to be the longest of my life. Yet now it seems to be gone in the blink of an eye, and I realize that nothing is far away anymore. Nothing that I've been counting down to is so far away that I can only stare at it wistfully and wish for time to pass by faster. I don't have to do that anymore. It's so close I can taste it.

2010-03-22T23:28:00.002-04:00

Shruti: alright - I WAS going to seduce you by taking off one item of clothing for every minute you were gone, but i realized... I don't have enough clothes on. O.o
Me: HOTTT.

Messin' With Rite Aid Drive Thru

2010-03-22T22:09:00.001-04:00

Technician: May I help you?
Me: Yeah um.... could I get a bone for my dog please?
Technician: ....... Do you have a prescription?
Me: No..... but I have a dog. See?

March Showers?

2010-03-14T18:05:00.004-04:00

Peeeektures! -- Bridal Shower

OMG you guys--I had my bridal shower yesterday!! :D *SQUEE* My Grandma, Aunts Michelle and Brenda, and cousin Jennifer decided several months ago that they wanted to throw me a party for the shower! I'm not really sure what I did to deserve such generosity, but I know better than to argue! ;)

Needless to say, my family did a fabulous job! They had an adorable hall decorated and it even had a sign outside with a picture of me with Mike on it! I'm pretty sure I've never been cool enough to have my picture on a sign before. They served us some delicious lunch and even more delicious cake (of which my Dad has eaten at least half of the left-overs single-handedly in less than 24 hours), followed by gifting! I'm not sure when receiving items for the kitchen/bedroom/bathroom became so insanely exciting but at some point I made the transition--because boy was it exciting!! :D We received several generous and much-needed gifts which I can't wait to start using together!

I had a really, really fun time, and I hope that everyone who was able to make it did too. :) Honestly though, I get a little overwhelmed sometimes when people pay that much attention to me. >_< It's a little nerve-wracking! I've always kind of been like that though, believe it or not. And it was hard to make sure I talked with everyone one-on-one! I tried to make sure each guest got some individual time with me, but I felt pulled in a dozen different directions and it wasn't easy! Guess I better practice before June. ;)

Timeless

2010-03-07T22:45:00.002-05:00

Another busy weekend come and gone. I've never been so aware of the passage of time as I have been this past year. I suppose it's a mixture of being terrified/excited/ready to graduate and trembling with anticipation to marry Mike. Some days it's more one of those than the other, and other days I can't really tell at all. All I know is that time is crawling by while simultaneously shooting past in the blink of an eye. One day I groan with how long the days are, and the next I look at the calendar and realize how little time I have left to do so, so much.

Wear Red Day

2010-03-04T19:21:00.004-05:00

I forgot to post this awesome picture of all my coworkers at HealthPlus for Wear Red Day. We each paid five dollars and wore a red shirt to support women's heart health!! I had a great time at HealthPlus--I really miss the people there.

I also forgot to mention that I went shoe-shopping on my lunch break during my last week there! I've always wanted to go shoe shopping on my lunch break!! I was looking for wedding shoes, which I ended up finding so quickly that I had plenty of my break left to buy even more shoes! Oh the joy!!

SaLLLLLLmon

2010-03-03T23:59:00.003-05:00

Salmon and green bean casserole

Mike and I really enjoy cooking together and last weekend we had no plans so we got to cook every night! We made our favorite salmon recipe and also a green bean casserole for the first time. Delicious! After preparing this together in the kitchen while sipping red wine and feeling sophisticated, we spent the rest of the evening watching the Secret Life of the American Teenager. :D

I started a new rotation on Monday and so far it's going fine. I'm getting tired of my rotations a little--I think it's about time to graduate. Speaking of which, have I mentioned (enough) that I only have TWO MONTHS LEFT OF SCHOOL?? Can you believe that??? I know I'm not the only one who thought this nightmare would just never end.

The end of school brings the NAPLEX and the MPJE (board and law exams), which will not only burn off what remains of my brains cells and sanity, but also significantly reduce the size of my wallet. Let's break it down!

Seven years of school: $135,000 (Uuuuummmm, not including interest >_<)
1 NAPLEX: $465
1 MPJE: $185
Pharmacist's license to practice: $60/2 years
Fingerprinting fee to get license to practice: $62
Controlled-substances license: $85/2 years
Malpractice insurance: $140/year
Finally being a pharmacist: OBVIOUSLY NOT PRICELESS

I'm only kidding. It was worth every penny, truly.

I've been watching Ghost Hunters every Wednesday night with Beth, which means I get several hours with her adorable offspring, Nolan. OMG. I love that kid. And you guys know me--I am not a fan of babies.

I've got a busy few weeks ahead but I'll try to update often. I know you're all dying to know what's going on in my exciting life.

Thyroid-less

2010-02-26T18:13:00.003-05:00

They found cancer in my sister's left thyroid gland, which was removed last week. Unfortunately, this meant she had to return to the hospital for surgery #2, which took place yesterday. It went very well and now her thyroid is completely removed, hopefully taking the threat of cancer with it. I visited her after work and she was doing very well, even better than last time! :) It was very stressful for her, but hopefully now she'll get better every day!

I finished my rotation at HealthPlus today and it was bittersweet. I really, really enjoyed it. I can't believe how much I've enjoyed all my rotations! Anyway, everyone at HealthPlus was so friendly and helpful--it was hard to leave all that behind. I got a 98%! :D And my preceptors took me out for lunch. :) On to the next rotation--a compounding pharmacy up in Midland! Should be fun. My second-to-last month of pharm school! :D

Mike and I have a weekend off from social events for the first time in over a month. We're going to cook, watch Secret Life, and do nothing. I'm so excited! :D

Bizzy Bizzy

2010-02-21T23:36:00.002-05:00

My sister's surgery went well! She's had a goiter-like mass on her left thyroid for a little over a year now, and her physician recently decided that it should be removed. I took Friday off to spend the day at the hospital with her, and luckily everything went well and there were no complications. She had to stay overnight but then was able to come home Saturday morning. She now has a 3-4 inch incision near her collar bone and no goiter! :D Unfortunately, due to the limited range of motion in her neck right now, she'll be unable to drive for up to two weeks. So, yesterday Mike and I drove she and her car down to Monroe (where she lives) so that she can recover while resting in her own bed. Hopefully from this point out she will get much healthier!

In other news, I've completed three of my four weeks at HealthPlus and next week I start my March rotation at a compounding pharmacy in Midland. Should be fun, because I love compounding! I can't even believe that in two months I'll be done with pharmacy school. It's so unreal. This week I'll be signing up for the NAPLEX, which is the pharmacy board exam graduates must take to get licensed. I also have to take the law exam and then pay (more) to actually get licensed. Ugggggh. This should pretty much wipe out my checking account, so hopefully I pass on my first try because I can't afford to do it again!

I've attended two of the five weddings taking place this year, which has made me all the more excited for mine and Mike's. I've got a bridal shower coming up in March! Can't wait!! :D

At Least It's Pretty

2010-02-10T23:17:00.002-05:00

Last weekend one of my closest friends from pharmacy school, Sara, got married to her sweetie Nick! Naturally she looked fabulous and the reception was a ton of fun, but my favorite part was seeing so many of my P school friends again. Fourth year has been so isolated from my classmates and I've missed them more than I expected. I had a blast at dinner and got down with my bad self on the dance floor. Mike's cousin Mary gets married this weekend, so love is still in the air for a little while! Speaking of which, Mike was fitted for his tux this week and I can't wait to see how smokin' hot he and the boyz look when our day rolls around. ;)

Almost halfway through my rotation at Health Plus. Everyone loves working there. I have to say that I enjoy it a lot too, although it's not the best environment to fine-tune my counseling skills. I think to myself (almost on a daily basis) that if a patient could work one day in a pharmacy they could understand why it takes "so damn long" to get their drugs ready and just how insulting it is to suggest that I went to school for seven years to "slap a label" on a bottle. I think the same might be true for insurance companies like Health Plus. I curse them all the time, as they are what we pharmacists consider the "rate-limiting step" in prescription dispensing. However, I think to experience their side of the fence will be important for someone like myself, who will be dealing with them so often throughout my career. Just like I'd like the patient to understand my role better, I'd like to understand the role of the insurance company better.

My sister is having surgery coming up next week, so I'd ask that you keep your fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and very well. I'm taking the day off to spend at the hospital, so that will make me feel better. :) I got to see her briefly when she came home to meet with her surgeon and we got to wildly outrace the computer at Mariokart, as per the usual.

According to Mom, Flint got about nine inches of snow last night or something. Just about everything closed up, and I even got a delayed start until 10 AM. My car was very effectively buried in the driveway and it took me a good twenty minutes and two pairs of socks to free it from it's snowy prison. But, like the monster green machine it is, it tackled my always unpaved road like a champ and got me to work safely once again. I hate winter, btw, and eagerly anticipate March going out like a lamb ASAP.

FINALLY

2010-02-03T18:08:00.002-05:00

From WebMD Health News

Study Linking Autism to Vaccine Retracted
Daniel J. DeNoon

February 2, 2010 — The venerable British medical journal The Lancet has retracted a 1998 study suggesting a link between autism and childhood vaccination with the measles-mumps-rubella MMR vaccine.

The Lancet tells WebMD that it has retracted "10 or 15" studies in its 186-year history. The retraction follows the finding of the U.K. General Medical Council (GMC) that says study leader Andrew Wakefield, MD, and two colleagues acted "dishonestly" and "irresponsibly" in conducing their research.

The Lancet specifically refers to claims made in the paper that the 12 children in the study were consecutive patients that appeared for treatment, when the GMC found that several had been selected especially for the study. The paper also claimed that the study was approved by the appropriate ethics committee, when the GMC found it had not been.

"We fully retract this paper from the published record," The Lancet editors say in a news release.

The retraction means the study will no longer be considered an official part of the scientific literature.

BMJ, formerly known as the British Medical Journal, has competed with The Lancet since 1840. BMJ editor Fiona Godlee says she welcomes the Lancet retraction.

"This will help to restore faith in this globally important vaccine and in the integrity of the scientific literature," Godlee says in a news release.

In 2004, 10 of Wakefield's 13 co-authors disavowed the findings of the 1998 study. Although the study never claimed to have definitively proven a link between the MMR vaccine and autism, sensational media reports ignited a public panic. MMR vaccinations fell dramatically.

More rigorous studies have found no link between autism and the MMR vaccine. Last year, the U.S. "vaccine court" rejected U.S. lawsuits claiming that there was a plausible link between the vaccine and autism.

Wakefield continues to proclaim his innocence and defends his earlier work. He now resides in Texas, where he is executive director of an alternative medicine center for autism treatment and research.
__________________________

All I have to say about this is that it's about DAMN TIME. I can't even tell you how many people I've wanted to smack for not getting their kid vaccinated because the "news says it causes Autism." GUESS WHAT?? This was the ONLY study suggesting that (EVER), and now it's GONE. So go get the shots people, and protect your kids (and the rest of us) from dangerous, unnecessary disease. And for God's sake, stop believing everything you hear on the news.

Cube!!

2010-02-01T19:50:00.002-05:00

Today was my first day of Managed Care at Health Plus, and I have my own cubicle! OMG *SQUEE* I've never had my own before!! I felt very important.

My first day went well! In other news, I can't wait to get out of the house.

600th Post!

2010-01-31T23:39:00.003-05:00

Apparently I completely over looked the "500th post" mark, but at any rate, I've been rocking it out in this blog for over four years and for 600 posts. Honestly, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've got some seriously good stuff going on here. Perhaps my life is only interesting to me (in fact, I'm pretty sure it is), but I get a kick out of myself. Lately not so much, but we all have "dry spells" if you will. I have my entire graduate school career documented in this blog, which I can say now I am so grateful for. Reading back on days which have past makes me truly appreciate how far I've come, how much I've changed, and how glad I am that some of those days are over (and by those days, I mean BioChem, Chemo, and Internal Medicine, just to name a few). The me which created the very first post to this blog is so different from the me that sits here now, and I have to say I'm glad for that. Growing up sometimes is hard and sad, but by the time you do it I think we all feel a little bit of relief.

Aside from that, I finished my rotation with Meijer on Friday, which means I've completed all my required clinical work. I have three electives left, the first of which I begin tomorrow at Health Plus. I have to say, I really enjoyed my Meijer rotation. This is the environment that I've chosen to work in for at least the beginning of my career. I took the position with Target thinking that community pharmacy was where I belonged, and the weeks I spent at Meijer did nothing but reinforce that choice. I don't belong in a hospital, locked up in the pharmacy (usually in the basement with no windows) with no one but doctors, nurses, and other pharmacists to talk to. I belong in the community, as one of the most accessible health care professionals to the patient. I want to be asked questions, to help, to develop relationships with patients who will come back to me again and again because they trust me. That's where I belong, and it would be a horrible waste of my effort, skill set, and personality to place me somewhere else. I know now that I made the right choice.

Three more months until I graduate. Only a few weeks until I need to crack down and study for the pharmacy board exam, NAPLEX. As usual, I feel myself sprinting through the final miles.

And in honor of my 600th post, I think back to that very first, which took place exactly two weeks prior to my applying to Pharm school. Little did I know that it would consume my life, change my life, my relationships, and my choices, for the next four years. And my blog would hear it all--the good, the bad, and the ugly. ;)

Back in the Day

2010-01-27T23:40:00.001-05:00

I was reading old blog posts tonight and realized something--I used to be funny! OMG! I used to have witty blog entries with interesting things to read about! I laughed out loud at some of them!

What the heck happened to me?

I'm going to get right on fixing this.

*Thinks witty*

R-E-L-A-X ;)

2010-01-27T21:59:00.002-05:00

Debt

2010-01-24T18:34:00.003-05:00

I'm boring, I know. I know, okay??

I have one week left of my rotation at Meijer, and consequently, 13 weeks left of P school. Not that I'm counting or....... anything. After three years of undergrad and four of grad, I am now $130K + in debt. I'm surprisingly okay with that. Going through school all these years has taught me at least one important thing--educating yourself is one of the best investments you could possibly make. Now that I know I will become a pharmacist (and that I have a job) I'm not really scared about it anymore. I would say it was more than worth it, and in more ways than one.

Mike and I paid off the honeymoon and are ordering our invitations to be printed in the next two weeks, and next weekend we're meeting with the florist for the first time. I keep counting down the days and checking off the months until our wedding finally reaches us, but as it gets closer I'm starting to realize that eventually I will look at the calendar and think, "Crap! There's not enough time left!!" ;)

I've been able to come home after work this month and actually relax (for the first time 4th year). I've been seeing my friend Beth every Wednesday for Ghost Hunters, but mostly we just talk and play with Nolan, which is even better than Ghost Hunters. This week I'm kitty-sitting for her, which makes me happy. I love her kitties. :)

Ironically, I do have homework to do tonight. So what am I doing? Updating my blog of course.

Typical.

Clinical Seminar: the Last Hurrah

2010-01-09T12:02:00.005-05:00

Pharmacy school came back with a vengeance, even with only a week into the new semester. I began my newest rotation (Advanced Community Pharmacy) at Meijer in Bay City, which so far has been going smoothly. They fill a lot of scripts per day at that store, so I'm a little unused to the chaos, but I'm getting the hang of it. Everyone there is extremely friendly and willing to help me out when I have questions (which happens a lot). I've been able to counsel patients quite a bit, check prescriptions, call doctors, and sort out drug interactions. It's weird to have actual responsibility. When we encounter a drug interaction they ask me to take care of it, and they trust that I'll make the right decision. I swear sometimes that everyone has confidence in me but me.

Aside from beginning my rotation, yesterday was also the day I was scheduled to present my Clinical Seminar. Seminar is kind of an enormous deal, making up the "thesis" or research component of the Pharmacy Doctorate. We chose our topics at the beginning of our third year of school and have been working on the research ever since. We're assigned a preceptor (random faculty member interested in our topic) and we communicate with them through email throughout the process of writing the research paper, creating a handout/powerpoint, and giving the presentation. My paper was turned in in early October and ended up passing (to my delight). My 11-page handout was due the week after Christmas, and yesterday was the day I ended up presenting (along with around half of my fellow classmates). I was extremely stressed out about it--in fact, I can't remember being the overwhelmed since Internal Medicine back in Aug/Sept. Luckily I presented in the morning, so I didn't have to sit through everyone's presentations while having an ulcer thinking about mine. To make matters worse, I presented in Kalamazoo on Friday morning, the morning after that lovely snowstorm. I drove from Bay City to Ionia on Thursday night. I think I went about 50 mph at the fastest all the way. Then Friday morning I was out the door by 5:45 AM to make it to Kalamazoo by 8 AM. A drive that normally takes me a little over an hour took me twice that long. Luckily, trying to keep myself from getting killed on the road helped keep my mind off the presentation.

So I presented and several professors/fellow students told me I did really well and they enjoyed it. I eagerly awaited my presentation results until the afternoon session, when I was finally able to track down my preceptor and go over the comments my evaluators had made (I was evaluated by three FSU faculty, in addition to my classmates). I passed!! :D The seminar itself was worth 2 credit hours (even though there is never any time spent in a classroom), so it was a huge relief to not have to worry about failing it and trying to make up the work somehow. I can't really portray in an internet blog how happy it made me to see the end of that project (that 1.5 year beast of a project). I wanted to cry I was so relieved. The other half of my class is presenting in March, and for the first time the March people were jealous of we January people. ;)

Clinical Seminar was the last big hurdle for me. It was the last enormous thing I had to accomplish for this program, so now for the remaining 3.5 months of my higher education, I think I'm going to do a bit of relaxing here and there. I'm going to start to unwind myself and transform back into a normal person. I'm ready for this journey to end and for the next to start, and I'm ready to come home each night and not have any homework to do. I long for spare time, for hobbies, and for Lazy Pirate Days. :D

Advice from the Master

2010-01-04T23:08:00.000-05:00

Grandma: You just have to think to yourself, "what if this is the last thing I ever get to say to him?"

Thanks Grandma. :)

Looking Back

2010-01-02T12:32:00.003-05:00

Susan, me and James on Ambulatory Care in October/November. Savin' lives like it's our job. Which of course... it... is. Hmm.

Visiting with Katie and Kate back in Kalamazoo, where we all got our start.

With my sister Kristen and Mom at Crossroads Village. Freezing our asses off while waiting for fireworks to start.

I got to help decorate the Christmas tree for the first time since leaving for college (back in 2003). Had a great time :)

With Mike minutes before the ball dropped on New Years Eve

I haven't uploaded pictures since September, so I thought I'd post a few now that I finally got around to it. I had a great New Years hanging out with Mike and our good friends Nick and Colleen. We cooked up some steaks, played games, took pictures, drank delicious wine, and put on our party hats for the ball dropping goodness. I sucked real bad at Mariokart on the Wii (but it was my first time!), Mike finally lost a board game, and I talked to the boys until 2 AM. I felt so happy and so excited for what is ahead. :)

Happy 2010!

2010

2010-01-01T17:48:00.000-05:00

I have waited for you all my life

OMG Christmas

2009-12-28T10:33:00.002-05:00

Whew! Christmas has come and gone and of course I haven't updated my blog in like a year or something. If there's one skill I've learned in 2009 it's how to be a slacker.

I hope everyone had a really nice Christmas with their families and safe travel! It seems like the older I get the more and more stressful the holidays become, but I always enjoy them when they finally arrive. I spent the week prior to Christmas with Mike in Ionia, which was so, so nice. The first night we visited Shruti in GR because it was her birthday!! :D I got to see her apartment for the first time (which was adorable and so her) and we exchanged gifts before going to the BOB in downtown GR (aka the most badass bar I have ever been to in my life). Shruti, knowing my love of dragons, actually drew and framed a piece of her own artwork for me which is a dragon curled around a heart! It is so beautiful! :D She also gave me a dragon figurine which has a light-up globe to be used as a night light. OMG! That girl knows the way to my heart. ;)

The second night I spent in Ionia we drove to our old stomping ground of Kalamazoo, where Mike and I originally attended WMU together for undergrad. Our friends Katie and Chuck were having a get together at one of our favorite pubs, the Old Peninsula! The Lovely Kate and the Handsome Dave were also there!! I got to meet their daughter Audrey for the first time, which was really nice because she's adorable, and I also got to see Ryan! So many good old friends to remember some good old times. It made me feel a little old, however, to realize that it's been nearly four years since we were all together in Kzoo. :-/

The weekend following the Kzoo trip was spent Christmas-ing with Mike's extended relatives for the Gibbard family party on Saturday, and then up to Claire on Sunday to see Grandma Dent for Christmas as well as her birthday. :) It was back to Ionia for a few more days then, where we finished the remainder of our registry and got to celebrate the holidays with each other. For Christmas Mike got me an iPhone and started us on a family cellphone plan together!! :D This makes me pretty excited because I was using his old iPhone as a PDA for school, so now I don't have to carry around a PDA and a cellphone (and I also have unlimited text messaging for the first time ever!)! He hooked me up with some sweet applications and taught me how to use them, and I've been having fun playing with it ever since. :) He also got me the necklace which matches my wedding dress!! :D It's so beautiful--it will be hard to keep it in my jewelry box until June!

I came back to Lansing the day before Christmas Eve to spend some holiday time with Mike's family. We ate a delicious dinner, played lots of our favorite games, and exchanged gifts!! Sandy and Debbie got us each matching 6-piece luggage bags to use for the honeymoon! :D They also got him a widescreen TV because his current TV is almost as old as I am. That gift was technically "his" but of course I'll get to enjoy it myself as well. ;)

Christmas Eve I returned home again to spend some time with my own family. We had a great time eating dinner and watching old, old Christmas movies together!! It felt good to have all 5 of us together in the house again. Of course we played Mariokart, as is our tradition, and I lost pretty bad once again. We all had to go to bed then so Santa could bring the loot, and then it was Christmas morning!! I love this time because we all take turns opening one gift at a time so we can each see what the others receive as gifts. We play Christmas music, have donuts for breakfast, throw wrapping paper at Chris, and just have a great time. I received several wonderful gifts from my family, including all 25 episodes of CareBears, $150 in giftcards to Michaels (OMG SQUEE), several new blouses, My Little Ponies, and new jewelry making supplies (because I'm interested in taking up jewelry-making post graduation).

After gifting it was time to pack up and head to the Jobin family party! We picked up my Aunt Diane and met at Grandma's house downstate for dinner. For the first time Mike got to come to the family party, and I was so excited that he was there! :D Dinner was delicious and then there were more gifts to open. A few plates of food, numerous family drama, and several hours later Christmas was officially over, and we made it back home for the night. My parents and brother exchanged gifts with Mike before we all hit the hay after a very long but festive day. :)

Since then I've been cleaning up, spending my giftcards, and spending some time with Chris before he goes back to school. On Wednesday I'll be going back to Ionia to visit Mike for the remainder of my break, and then next Monday it's back to pharmacy school. Oh ballz.

That's okay though--it'll be back to pharmacy school for one last time. :D

Ghost Huntress

2009-12-16T01:15:00.006-05:00

Beth: So Amanda... I got your Save the Date card in the mail today.
Me: Geez, that was fast!
Beth: Yeah... just wanted to let you know, I'm gonna be busy that day. Sorry.
Me: ...... I'll steal your baby.
Beth: Ten bucks says you give it back as soon as it cries.
---------------

Mike: My bugs are driving me crazy tonight.
Me: Your what?
Mike: My bugs.
Me: Bugs?! What bugs??
Mike: The bugs in my armpits.
_________________________________

I got to hang out with Beth and her adorable offspring tonight, which was great fun. We watched Ghost Hunters On Demand and talked about how hot we think Grant is. We agreed to start Wednesday night date nights for February! I've always wanted to do something like that with her. :) In other news, getting ready for Christmas, seminar, and the wedding. I've had a relaxing couple weeks at home to get ready for the busy one ahead before the holidays are upon us! I'm already getting pretty hungry thinking about Christmas dinner at Grandma's. I love this time of year.

Except for the snow, ice, and treacherous road conditions. -_-

Vacation Babbles

2009-12-08T20:27:00.003-05:00

It's that time again--seminar time! My clinical seminar (or basically the thesis of pharmacy school) I will be presenting in Kalamazoo in early January. So, much like all of September and October, a significant majority of my "spare time" is spent staring blankly at trials involving the treatment of irritable bowel syndrome with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. And no, it's not interesting. >_<

And, much like September and October, I am trying multiple tactics to avoid working on it. One of my favorites you've probably already guessed is updating my beloved blog. O:-)

I spent the past week visiting my lovely sister in Monroe! It was a busy couple days, but we got to go shopping together at multiple craft stores (another money-spending vice for which I have no self-restraint) and play LOTS of old school Nintendo games. In fact, we stayed up until the wee hours almost every night watching me SUCK at Zelda: the Ocarina of Time. And I'm not just being modest, I really do suck. A lot. We also got to have lunch with my Grandma, which was very nice, and I spent lots of time cuddling with her guinea pig. *squee!* One of my favorite things we did was visit her office where she works, which is a historic building in downtown Dundee. I got to see how it looked before it was remodeled and then she gave me a tour and introduced me to her coworkers. And.... then we judged them in the car on the way home. >:-D It was great fun and I was very sad to leave on Friday. :(

For the weekend I visited Mike in Ionia (and if I don't mention him this time he's just going to WHINE ABOUT IT). :P We ended up getting our Save the Dates finished except for about ten which need clarification from grandmothers or other relatives before we send them. I loved how they turned out and I can't wait to start working on the invites as well. We also ended up visiting our friends Nick and Colleen whom I haven't seen in ages. We went to a sushi bar (where I declined sushi and ate regular Chinese food, naturally) and got Colleen's dress ordered. On Sunday evening we ended up making cookies (which turned out delicious) and using every Rubbermaid container Mike owned. I mean geez. That's a lot of cookies.

Monday it was back to Flint again to help the Mom decorate the house, finish up my seminar handout, and take care of some Christmas shopping. I wouldn't be so hard up for cash right now if I didn't love so many people, OMG. The list gets longer every year. ;)

On God

2009-12-03T00:30:00.001-05:00

Kristen: She was one of those "God has all the answers" types of people.
Me: Maybe God does have all the answers.
Kristen: He's just not sharing.
_____________________________________

No Finals?

2009-11-30T21:27:00.002-05:00

Omg you guys, I didn't have finals this semester!! I had my final exam for AmCare which I totally destroyed, and that was it. Sweet, sweet bliss. This was also the first Thanksgiving in seven years which I haven't spent doing homework. I got an A in AmCare, which means my GPA will be high enough for me to graduate with honors and walk with honor cords. OMG YES. I start my last semester after the New Year, and until then I'm basically doing SO MUCH WEDDING STUFF, visiting people as much as possible, Christmas shopping, and working not so diligently on my clinical seminar, which I pretty much have to complete by the time break is over. Ugh.

Thanksgiving went pretty well here at the Jobin house. It was fun having the sibs home for the holidays, but man the house sure is different when filled with people! We played lots of Mariokart (during which I had my most embarrassing loss ever), watched old family videos, saw fireworks at Crossroads Village for opening night, and of course chowed down on some serious Turkey Day eateries. I even started reading an actual book for fun! Kristen and I went out for a girl's day and ended up picking the bridesmaid dress for the wedding! I'm so happy she found one she liked and it is very beautiful. I can't wait to see how my other girls like it!

I'm going to visit Kristen over the next few days, then I'm back to Ionia to (hopefully) finish the Save the Dates and put together the registry so all you peeps can buy me awesome things. It's going to be a VERY busy Christmas break with the list of things I need to accomplish... but I know I'll feel good as I slowly check them off. :)

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!!

One Semester

2009-11-24T23:06:00.003-05:00

Four months ago I started my fourth and final year of pharmacy school. My first rotation was Internal Medicine, which I still to this very moment count as the most terrible two months of my entire life. I can remember countless times when either Mom or Dad approached me out of concern, be it for lack of sleep or the sheer amount of time I spent hunched over my notes. They wanted to do something to help me. They wanted me to tell them it was okay.

I told them instead: "If I can make it to Thanksgiving nothing can stop me."

Guess what?

I made it.

Clinic Days

2009-11-12T17:48:00.001-05:00

Dr. Eugene: I'd rather be stupid than old.
________________

Dr. Eugene: You know that guy Flava Flav? He looks like a burnt raisin.
________________

Me: Today Susan had a 19 year old patient who had already had more than 60 sexual partners.
Mike: So, is she hot?

Drug Free America

2009-11-11T17:52:00.001-05:00

Because there's no humor like pharmacy humor

Monkey-ing Around

2009-11-10T17:29:00.003-05:00

James: I'm sorry Dr. Covyeou but I don't have my Drug of the Day ready for today. But! What I do have is a great story about Wellbutrin and monkeys!
Dr. Covyeou: I'm so glad you used the time I was absent wisely.
------------------

I am happy to say that I aced my midterm exam in AmCare and I have only a huge presentation to give tomorrow (in front of 30+ doctors/pharmacists) and the final exam left before it's over! Two weeks to be exact, before I am not only on Christmas vacation until after New Years, but also a mere semester away from graduating pharmacy school!!

*SQUEE*

Not that I'm counting or anything. ;)

On Target

2009-11-07T10:50:00.003-05:00

I called Target back to accept their offer yesterday. (!!!!!!!!! I have a job as a pharmacist!!!!) I wanted to take 48 hours to think it over, because I was just so excited after they called me Wednesday that I wanted to be sure that my decision was practical, and not just based on emotion. But even after discussing it with my parents, Mike and Mike's parents, my preceptor on AmCare, and the two other students I'm on AmCare with, I felt just as good about it on Friday. My preceptor helped me compile a list of quesitons to ask first, but even after getting the answers I still felt great about it.

I'll be given a "home store" as close to Ionia (where Mike is) as possible, and for the first few months to a year I'll be floating around that home store to nearby locations which need me, until I'm assigned a permanent location. I'd be compensated for gas and wear-and-tear on my car, so I don't really mind the traveling aspect. I already commute an hour to get to school everyday, so I'm sort of used to it. Besides, Target is the only community pharmacy which DOESN'T have a drive-thru AND closes for lunch so that the pharmacist can actually have a chance to eat (which is every community pharmacist's wet dream). The offer was sweet and the benefits package was darn good enough, so I couldn't think of a single reason to say no.

I feel so happy (and fortunate) to have this job already. Once Christmas gets here, I'll be so busy with wedding plans, preparing for graduating/taking the board exams, and getting ready to present my Clinical Seminar that it will be so nice to already have a job lined up. I am just so excited.

Mike seems thrilled, and as usual has been the image of spousal support. He took me out for a nice dinner last night to celebrate! I can't believe how close we are to the end of my time in graduate school, and how wonderful it feels to finally reap the rewards of our hard work. This is as much his victory as mine. :)

OMG look!

2009-11-04T23:18:00.003-05:00

Target extended me a job offer today--a pretty damn good one. I can't really believe it. I interviewed for a real pharmacist's position and they want me. It's so.... it's so beyond pharmacy school. It's so real.

I told them I'd like until Friday to decide, but I'm no fool. It'll mean a little bit of a move and a lot of driving for a while, but I think I'm going to be taking it. :D

Omg, I'll let you know for sure.

Grab Your Masks!

2009-10-29T23:37:00.003-04:00

It's the swine flu!! Or NOT.

Yeah, Mike went to the doctor and was told he had the swine flu. Which is pretty much the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I know this because 1) I talked to Mike about his symptoms for more than five minutes, 2) Mike gave me what he has (because he likes to share, even germs) and having experienced it myself, I can definitely say it was a textbook cold, and 3) I'm a f-ing genius. Why does every cough, sniffle and temperature of 99.1 degrees have to be the swine flu? Seriously. And even if all this mess WAS the swine flu, why are we even calling it anything anymore? IT'S ONLY THE FLU PEOPLE OMG!

OMG.

Aside from that my week has been pretty packed with AmCare assignments being suddenly due in mass quantities. I hate that about classes/rotations. The first few weeks are sort of laid back and then BAM. Suddenly a bunch of stuff is due all at once, and it stays that way until the class/rotation is over. Yep.

I got a flat tire last Friday, used that Fix-o-Flat nonsense to temporarily fix it, and then hit a curb with the same tire later that very same day. DRIVER FAIL. So now my care vibrates when I go over 60 mph because I have so craftily knocked my wheels out of alinement. *angry black cloud* As if my car doesn't have enough problems at 13 years old. I also let my dad drive my car to work for ONE DAY and I got it back with the rearview mirror all jankety and my little stuffed puppy (from the dashboard) thrown ruthlessly to the floor of my passenger seat. I mean come on, he went LESS THAN 2 MILES. What the hell was he doing??! He denies all of this, of course. *eyeroll* So now I need to get new tires, a re-alinement, and rig my rearview mirror to work again.

I had my first interview ever for a pharmacist position today. It was with Target pharmacies, which a fellow student of mine (from Internal Medicine) was kind enough to connect me with. She had really great things to say about her experience working for Target, so I figured what the hell. The interview was pretty short (compared to the long amount of time I was required to be there) and pretty intimidating, I thought. They asked some tough behavioral questions which I didn't feel all that prepared for and had to pull answers out of my ass. I hate interviews. Overall I think I did decent, but I really believe that they're extremely selective and I might not be exactly what they're looking for. I'm pretty okay with that though. It being my first interview, I was happy just for the experience and already I'm thinking of a ton of new ways to prepare for the next one. Either way, I should hear back from them next week sometime.

I'm so happy tomorrow is Friday. Mike is going to grill steak and OMG. He's so good at it. THE BEST STEAK I've ever had he's made for me so... yeah. My man gotz skillz. I also have a midterm next week, so I'm sure my weekend will be filled with steak-eating and studying. *head/desk*

True Love

2009-10-17T20:29:00.001-04:00

Mike: Can I turn up the heat? I'm cold.
Me: I'm warm. How are we going to live together??
Mike: When you get warm, I'll throw your ass outside.

Baby-phobia

2009-10-16T00:02:00.004-04:00

Mike: All I really want to do is to write with black marker all over your--
Me: DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE.
_________________________________

Not much to report. Got to see one of my best Girlies Beth last night and her precious baby boy! I'm pretty sure going out to eat with me was the first time she'd been "out" since she gave birth, so I felt bad taking her away from Nolan, but I think she had a lot of fun. I can't believe how great she looks! Hopefully I'll bounce back that fast after my babies. And speaking of which, my future in-laws are already talking a lot about grandkids!! Omg. They must not know about me. Me and my baby-phobias.

I applied for my first pharmacy job and got a call back for a potential interview in two weeks. Yep... I'm pretty freakin' scared now. Not so sure I'm ready for this.

Honeymooning It

2009-10-11T20:56:00.004-04:00

Today Mike and I did some serious wedding planning, and ended up booking our honeymoon! OMG YAY! I'm really, really happy about this because there seems to be so many parts involved, so my documents to read, and so many rules that I wanted to make sure we did it plenty of time in advance. So today we sat down with the intention of making some progress on it and instead ended up finding just what we wanted!

We're leaving from Florida on Sunday afternoon, the day after the wedding, on a 7-day cruise to the Caribbean. Based on popular vote we chose Royal Caribbean cruise line on a ship called Freedom of the Seas, and we're stopping at some great locations like the Bahamas, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten.

I can't believe I'm actually going to get to do something this awesome. ME. With Mike, and without pharmacy school! It'll be like Christmas!! :D

Am to the Care

2009-10-06T19:41:00.005-04:00

I apologize for the lack of luster in my recent blog entries. I feel like I'm pretty much slugging my way through 4th year and trying to find time to update my beloved blog when I can, but unfortunately living, breathing, and sleeping pharmacy school makes for some really redundant, not-so-stimulating topics. All I can say is that I graduate in mere months and then you will ALL be given the miraculous gift of NO MORE WHINING FROM AMANDA YESSSSS.

But for now.... This is all I've got. :-'(

I started AmCare last week at a clinic up near Bay City, which would put me almost a week into my second (and last) two-month long rotation. So far I like it, though I'm still more or less getting used to it. The majority of my day is spent reviewing patient charts, working up their problem list and deciding which interventions I'd like to make, presenting these recommendations to my preceptor, and then seeing my patients with my assigned resident. I get to spend a LOT more time with each patient than I did on Internal Med, and I've also done medication histories on almost every patient I've had so far. Other than clinic work, I'm also doing a TON of homework assignments. There seems to be a lot of presentations, articles, projects, study guides, and discussion topics to accomplish on this rotation, which might end up getting sticky as due dates get close together. I'm not really concerned right now though. I'm just happy to be getting more than 4 hours of sleep a night! :D

I did get to see boobs and vagina on my first day, which was a nice change from the homeless-man-penis I kept seeing at Hurley. Catheterized homeless-man-penis. *shudder*

In other news, I helped Mike chaperon his school's homecoming dance this past Saturday! I actually had a really fun time--it reminded me how happy I am to NOT be in high school anymore, lol. I helped him check in students at the door and just in general prevented kids from leaving and causing a ruckus. His school looked really beautiful and they had a great turnout. After the dance we went to a local sports bar with some of Mike's teacher-friends to celebrate homecoming being over. They even won the football game!! I only made it for the second half, but it was a close game and I miss high school football, if nothing else.

From the Random Frontier, I really hate kids in my parents' neighborhood. We're talking about dozens of kids that stand in the middle of roads, or take up half a street between them and their friends, and just expect cars to drive around them. This morning there were three kids standing literally in the middle of my street, doing nothing, just standing. I've become so overwhelmingly irritated with driving around random teeny-bopper pedestrians, that today I decided NO MORE. I drove up to those fuckers, right up to them with my high beams on and everything, and honked at them. One of them went a little crazy and started swearing at me and flipping me the bird. And I just laughed because they're IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Cars drive here, HELLO. OMG. I could go on and on. This is almost as bad as candy corn with orange on the bottom. *the horror*

Anyway.

My Clinical Seminar paper is due on Monday. Clinical Seminar is pretty much the P School edition of a thesis, and it's sucking the joy from my life. Uuuugh. And I'm pretty much just avoiding it right now by posting this blog entry. >_<

Internal Medicine

2009-09-30T20:44:00.004-04:00

I think my Internal Medicine rotation will go down as one of those not-so-rare moments in Pharm school when I get knocked on my ass without warning. And then kicked mercilessly. It was one of two 2-month long rotations which I have in the fall semester, the other being Ambulatory Care which I will start tomorrow. IM is supposed to be the most difficult of all the pharmacy clerk ships, and for my sake I really hope that's true.

I've never slept less, worked so consistently, put up with more criticism, or been so miserable for such a long stretch of time. My vocabulary expanded to include humiliating phrases like "I don't know," which I repeated often and with an ever sinking heart. My good humor, one of my most prized personal traits, got lost quickly in the 4 am mornings and the 9-11 hour shifts. I never "caught up" on my homework. I just stopped it for long enough to go to sleep. The grand majority of August I felt stupid and wasted, as if none of my hard work over the past three years had done any good at all. By Friday night I was too exhausted to do anything but sleep, and the majority of the weekends were spent recovering from sleep deprivation and doing homework. I talked to Mike about half as much each day as I normally do (which isn't even that much to begin with), and had to struggle around assignments and projects to spend time with him on my days off. Thank goodness he's so amazing and doesn't have a selfish bone in his body. You know, like me.

Luckily though, there is a bright side to all this (the above is probably enough complaining for one blog post).

Today was my last day, it being the last calendar day of September. After taking my final exam on Monday and doing last-minute wrap-up crap, my preceptor evaluated me and we said goodbye. She told me things I really needed to hear, though, before I went. She said my confidence was improved 100% since my first day. She said she often forgot that this was my first rotation (which I took as a huge compliment), and that she was impressed with the amount of hours I put into my work both at the hospital and at home on assignments. She complimented me on meeting every goal which I set for myself at midpoint. She told me the frequency and quality of my patient interventions increased significantly over the course of the rotation. And finally, she told me that I got an A !!!!

All of this felt really great to hear, but what I really wanted to know (the one thing I always wonder, every day I've been in this program) was if I was where I should be at this point. (Am I shaping up to be the pharmacist I want to be?) Or am I behind the curve? And she this is what she said.

"You are above and beyond where I would expect students to be at this point."

And you know what? It was worth every early, early morning (and every tear) to hear that.

This Brief Interlude

2009-09-19T10:40:00.004-04:00

School has been keeping me busy. Really busy. Writing two 10+ page SOAP notes a week, getting ready for final case, studying for the final exam, and trying to work on Clinical Seminar (kind of like a thesis) all at the same time has sort of pushed a good night's sleep from my schedule. By the time Friday gets here, I'm too tired to go out and do anything! It's a good thing Mike is a teacher and just as tired as me by the end of the week. ;)

On the bright side, I feel like I've progressed significantly in the two months I've been at Hurley. My first three years of P school were sort of like baby steps, shuffling along slowly. I was learning it, but not knowing it. Now, since starting Internal Medicine, I can do so many things I couldn't before. I can look at a patient's drug list and pick out major drug interactions. I can recognize lots of usual dosages. I can pick out which medications need to be dose-adjusted based on poor renal function. I can look at their lab values and pick out abnormalities without needing a cheat sheet to tell me what the normal ranges are. I can calculate their Creatinine Clearance, ideal body weight, and adjusted body weight off the top of my head. None of these things I could do seven weeks ago. Those seven weeks have not been baby steps--they've been leaps towards knowing. I've got a long, long way to go, but I'm getting closer to a pharmacist just a little at a time.

A week from this coming Wednesday is my final day in Internal Medicine, and October 1st I'll begin Ambulatory Care at a family care clinic north of Bay City. That will take me through to Thanksgiving weekend, and will also put me halfway through my final year. My first Thanksgiving weekend without homework in college ever. OMG. I'm so excited for that.

Today is September 19th, which marks nine months until the wedding! Not that I'm counting or anything. ;) This weekend we're meeting with my cousin who will be our photographer, and my grandma and aunts who are throwing me a spectacular bridal shower! I'm so excited to take a break from pharmacy-related things and focus on the wedding, which has become something akin to a sweet finish line. Mike also whipped up some Save-the-Date templates which we hope to finalize this weekend! It feels good to be making progress. :)

For now though, it's back to the homework.

Our Box of Memories

2009-09-12T23:17:00.001-04:00

Me: Man, this box is so full you almost can't close it.
Mike: Yeah, it has a lot of memories in it. Five years worth! *pause* Well, four I guess. The last year didn't have much love in it.
Me: *pillow smack*

September 11th, 2001

2009-09-11T15:30:00.001-04:00

We're not better because we're a democracy. We're not better because we make all the right choices. We're not better because we're powerful, wealthy, or claim to have God on our side.

Our people are free, selfless, and together, even in the darkest hour.
This is what makes us great.

Money Well Spent

2009-09-07T20:22:00.002-04:00

Me: are you covering the cranial nerve again?

Shruti: yeah. All the cranial nerves--there are 12.

OOH OOH OOH TO TOUCH AND FEEL VIRGIN GIRLS VAGINA AND HYMEN

Me: Omg, why?

Shruti: Olfactory, Optic, Oculomotor, Trochlear, Trigeminal, Abducens, Facial, Vagus, Glossopharyngeal, Vestibulocochlear, spinal Accessory, Hypoglossal. That's our wonderful creative pneumonic. O.o THIS IS WHAT I DO IN MED SCHOOL

Me: That is so, so dirty. Can i blog it???

Updater

2009-09-06T22:58:00.004-04:00

Five weeks in, and three and a half more to go in my Internal Medicine rotation at Hurley. It's really been challenging and I'm counting down the days until it's finished. I've been pretty consumed with assignments, without even enough time to update my blog, as you've probably noticed. >_< But the conclusion of this rotation will bring me 1/4 of the way through 4th year, and that at least feels awesome!

Aside from pharmacy school, a lot of other stuff has happened lately! My brother moved back to GVSU to begin his second year of college, and the house sure is empty without him in it. Having him gone really makes me feel like another school year has begun, only this time with me living at my parents' house, which has never happened before. I just got my desktop set up this past weekend though, which should make homeworking much more comfortable! :D

Mike recently moved for the first time to Ionia, where he'll begin his second year (third overall) teaching there. I love his apartment--I know he will be very happy there. If I'm able to find a job nearby once I graduate, it would even be a great place to live until we're able to purchase a house. :) Tomorrow is his first day back with students.

This past weekend his good buddies from high school Alex and Laurie got married, so we got to get dressed up and go to a wedding! It was very beautiful and of course when they said their vows I wanted to cry. I always get that way. At the reception we got to hang out with a whole table full of Mike's friends, including two of our own groomsmen, Tim and Dan! I ate a lot of cake, enjoyed some surprise fireworks, and danced the night away. :)

My pharmacy (class of 2010) had its banquet two weekends ago in Grand Rapids. It wasn't really that good to be honest--only about half the students came, the DJ got a flat tire, no one was dancing, etc--but I still had a blast just because I got to see all my favorite pharmacy peeps. As much as I hated class, the one thing I miss about it is getting to see my classmates everyday. Rotations seem so isolated and lonely sometimes. I stayed for dinner and cake, and then a few of my friends invited Mike and I to go out with them to the nearby dueling piano bar, which we did and it turned out to be much more lively than the banquet. ;)

I got to see my friend Beth from P-school for about three weekends in a row, which was awesome, because now she's graduated and a real pharmacist. I can't even believe that. But she's taken a clinical pharmacy job down in Pennsylvania, so I pretty much won't get to see her again for a while. :( I'm so happy for her though, and I had a blast hanging out with her so much before she had to move. I can't wait to have her back in Michigan for my wedding. :)

I just want it to be fall now. So bad. I'm so excited to carve pumpkins. :D

Wistfulness

2009-09-01T18:19:00.004-04:00

Today while rounding with my physician team, we were joined by a 3rd year MSU med student. We started chatting about how much it sucks to be a student, how tired we are, and how awesome it will be to finally have a passable level of knowledge at the forefront of our brains. She asked me when I finish with school, and when I told her less than a year, she got a wistful look in her eyes.

I know that look well, and just where it comes from. That small, deep part of your heart that is constantly trembling with hope--uncrushable. This time around, I was happy to be on the receiving end of it.

2009-08-25T21:14:00.002-04:00

I'm sorry for my long absence, but pharmacy school is seriously killing me right now. I know I say this a lot, but I swear to God, I've never been this busy, or this stressed out. Hopefully it will pass soon and I can get a decent night's sleep. I just want to graduate and be with Mike. I'm so ready, and it just seems to get harder and harder to wait for everyday.

Loves Me

2009-08-13T23:11:00.001-04:00

Because he's awesome <3

Spam Mail

2009-08-06T22:49:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite things to pass-the-time-until-something-more-important-begins is reading the titles of my Spam emails. Most of them involve massively increasing the size of your "rod," black market prescription drugs, watches, and random "Read or Your Gay" threats. Every now and then I come across some gems, and today I thought I should start compiling a list of my favorites. From today's batch:

Make your boner so iron it could pierce a hole in the ceiling
Do you know why there are so many Chinese people?
Best oil for pork motor
Give squish mittens DUE attention
Enter her twat like a bull
Wake up your pork monster

I've received about 900 spam mails in the past week, so rest assured there will be more to come. ;)

Cabin Weekend and 4th Year

2009-08-05T20:27:00.003-04:00

Last weekend was my annual Groovy-Up-North-Vacation weekend, which was a total blast, as usual. Mike's parents were up at his family cabin, so we got to chum with them for quite a bit, playing boardgames (which Mike won every time) and drinking delicious margaritas. The weather wasn't spectacular, but we still got a really nice sunny day to visit Mackinac Island and a day without rain to enjoy the beach. :) It was too windy for Mike to do much sailing, which was a damn shame because it was a job getting that sailboat down to the shore without a trailer (not to mention putting it together without getting knocked unconscious). Surely good quality bonding time with my future hubby, though. ;) The water was freezing and we clung desperately to the infrequent rays of sunshine, but I got a hot little tan and had a blast anyway. And they got me a birthday cake, which is just full of awesome.

Sadly, returning home not only meant an end to my vacation, but also the beginning of the next new and scary step in my education. Tuesday was my first day of 4th year, my very last which I'll ever be in school. Do you know what it feels like to say that?

In general, my clinical rotations (the whopping 2 days worth which I've survived) have been like nothing I've ever done before. For the first time I'm actually expected to know things, as crazy as that sounds. All at once it is humiliating and exhilarating, as I realize simultaneously just how much I don't know and yet how far I've come. I'm truly on the last leg of this journey.

Next Monday I start the real stuff. I'll be assigned to a team with an attending physician, a senior physician, and two residents. I will be the only pharmacist on the team. Pharmacist, of course, being a term I still use loosely because at best I'm probably about 3/4 of a pharmacist (if that). When there's a drug question, they'll ask me. Me me. And only me. That is just about the scariest thing I've ever thought about in my life.

So far I've learned lots of useful things, like:

No more daydreaming. Honestly, there is absolutely no time to day dream. This sucks a lot for me.
Don't write notes on the handouts Dr. Hagerman gives you, because she will take them like a dirty rat and not give them back! Write them down on a separate sheet of paper.
Don't be afraid. Not because there's no reason to be, but because there simply isn't time to be afraid.

On the bright side, once this newness wears off, I might come out one giant leap closer to the final product. And, I've only been there two days, and have already received two free books. F-ing sweet.

The Edge of Everything

2009-07-27T00:41:00.004-04:00

Me: So how was the movie?
John: We're not going to talk about it.
Chris: Well, during the opening scene I thought to myself, "Why the hell is this in the movie?" and it just went downhill from there.
__________________________________

I'm about to begin my final week working for Kroger, possibly ever. The paychecks will stop and won't start up again until I'm an honest-to-God pharmacist. This weekend I'm going up to Mike's family cabin for my annual vacation, but even my usual excitement for that can't squash the fear I'm feeling about school beginning. I don't even feel like I can call it school anymore. It's not class, it's not multiple choice, or even study for the test hard enough and you'll pass. It's riding a bike for the first time without training wheels. It's taking your road test with a stranger in the car, knowing he's watching exactly how well you check the intersection before proceeding. It's an interview for the next stage of life. Every one around me has been so encouraging, so confident that I will do exactly what needs to be done to make it happen. And yet, despite all that positive energy, I feel alone in this. I feel like I'm stepping out, one step past all the light I have ever known, and into the darkness.

And (hopefully) as someone much cleverer than I once said, either there will be something for me to stand on, or I will be taught how to fly.

Wine-tasting and Pill-slinging

2009-07-22T22:46:00.004-04:00

It's been a busy few weeks for me since the last time I updated my blog. It's been the long sort of in-between-updates that makes it awkward and difficult to make a sudden, halfway decent and worth reading post. Anyway, I'll take my best stab at it.

Spent a lovely weekend up in Traverse City touring wine country with two of my best buds Nick and Colleen. I think over the course of the day we hit 10 different wineries and saw some beautiful countryside, and spent a nice night at a hotel in downtown TC. We're talking about making an annual thing out of it because we all love wine-tasting so much, and there's a lot more to see and do that can't really be squeezed into one day. After wine-ing it up, we spent the rest of the long weekend at Nick's Cabin on Burt Lake, enjoying some BBQ, boating, and playing with their adorable puppy, Mary Jane.

I also got to see my friend Beth for her baby shower last weekend, which was a lot of fun. I can't believe this girl, whom I spent long summer nights playing old school Nintendo with, is about to become a mom. I can't wait to meet her baby (a boy, Nolan)! She's due at the end of August, and I know she must be getting excited. She and her husband Matt got lots of great stuff for the shower, and I had fun seeing some of my high school friends and catching up after years of going in separate directions.

Mike took me to another Lugnuts game, which surprisinly enough we won! Also got to meet and hang out with some of his FB coworkers. Tried to get some stuff done for the wedding and that felt good--I haven't done anything it seems in so long. I'm such a procrastinator. Working on our photographer, save-the-dates, invitations, DJ, and cake right now. *whew*

Someone stole a hubcap off my car yesterday. No really. I couldn't even believe it, because it's not like I have really high quality ones or something. Just some plastic snap-ons. I thought perhaps it had fallen off, but the other three were so hard to get off, even with tools, that I knew the fourth hadn't just rolled off while I was driving. A coworker of mine also told me that one of hers had almost been stolen, except hers are bolted to the wheel so the theif eventually gave up. Anyway, all was well after I got some new caps and Dad helped me put them back on.

In work-related news, I've been doing prescription audits lately, meaning I go back and check the scripts within 24 hours of filling them to catch possible mistakes. I already stopped a big one (wrong drug strength) from reaching a patient. Not to mention, it makes me feel slightly more important. I also counseled a diabetic patient whose blood sugar level was dropping too low on his current medication regimen. And today, when a little old lady came in and said, "I take a small brown pill before bed each night. Do you know what it might be called?" I promptly told my technician, "Zocor." My technician looked at me skeptically, right before the woman said, "Yes yes! That's it!"

And I did my badass walk all the way back to the script counter.

Another Rockin' Bday

2009-07-06T23:23:00.004-04:00

Alas, I am finally getting paid and stuff. Whoo!

So, I turned 24 yesterday, and as I blew out my birthday candles Mike promptly congratulated: "Happy Old!" As I said last year, you're only as old as you feel, and hell, 24 still feels pretty damn young to me bitches. Can't touch this.

I had a wonderful birthday, consisting mostly of just spending time with the family and receiving lots of warm B-day wishes from loved ones. We cooked up a delicious dinner of steaks and corn on the cob (just a few of my favorite things) and finished off the night with sickeningly sweet birthday cake and ice cream. And lets not forget the kick-ass presents, which I adored! I know it's not about the presents and stuff, but whatever, I like presents and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I also had a great 4th of July! Mike surprised me by taking me to a Lugnuts baseball game, which is one of our favorite summertime things to do! They had a fireworks display after the game finished, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend our Independence Day than at a ballpark, eating a hot dog and watching fireworks light up the sky. :)

Work has been fine aside from me being at a different store last week, which recently changed over to the new computer system we're getting soon at my store. It was a little crazy and I'm very happy to be back in Swartz Creek, but the experience did leave me with some pretty good stories. My favorite of which has to be the elderly woman who came to the drivethru asking for money. That's it. She just handed me her driver's license and said, "I'd like some money please!" Man, if Kroger is passing out money, maybe I should get in line. I said this jokingly, and she smiled at me with a sweet, blank sort of stare, at which point I realized she was serious.

"Are you looking for an ATM?"
"You don't give out money?"
"Um... this is a pharmacy. Do... do you have a prescription to pick up?"
"No no, I don't want a prescription! I just want some money!"
"Ma'am... if you don't want any drugs then I can't really help you."

I could think of a few drugs that would help you though.

Oh My

2009-07-02T00:29:00.003-04:00

Today while taking a new script over the phone, I discovered with a startling realization that it's now July. Which usually brings me great joy, as I'm reminded of how much I love July blockbusters, fireworks, national holidays, my birthday, and my anniversary with Mike. This year, mingled in with that joy, is this overshadowing, all-consuming thought that 30 days from now, I will begin my final year of school. The idea is full of both thrilling excitement and deep-rooted fear all at the same time. I'm so ready to be done, but terrified that I'm not nearly as ready as I think.